The Best Laid Plans...

So, Stac, how's that whole "Lent" thing going?  I'm SO glad you asked! Not well.  Le sigh.  In my last post I laid out my grand plan for Lent, so of course everything went downhill from there. We had an ice/snow storm on Monday which hindered going to the store (Monday is grocery-getting day 'round here). And a major birthday cake malfunction led to quite an abbreviated lesson on Lent. Since I didn't have the groceries in place for our 'amazing Fat Tuesday Feast' the hubs and I decided to go out for dinner and feast that way. Only we had friends come over and stay longer than expected (I love having friends over so no one gets kicked out. Ever. We just 'alter' plans). Thus led to our feast happening at 9pm Tuesday night. Wednesday would've been great... Except that since there was still an abundance of snow and ice, church was canceled for the Hubs and I. Thursday and Friday went off the rails when one of the most fun and beautiful 8-month old baby girls came to play. I had agreed to watch her a while back but with all the snow and ice, this was my first time that week (um, did I mention how much the snow an ice messed EVERYTHING up?). I'd also gotten a major migraine that just further wrecked it all. 

So, now I'm tapping out this post on my phone while this precious girl sleeps on my shoulder. Chas is working 'diligently' on his math while the Hubs works on his car. 

But, Stac! That's well and good but those were just lessons. How's living out Lent going? Le Sigh. Again. 

Well... I'd really hoped to follow through with everything. So far, I think taking the farther parking space is about all I've accomplished.

- Exercise went well last week, until the migraine hit. 

- Going to bed and getting up was just shot ALL to pieces. That happens when you feast at 9pm! 

- The snooze button is my drug. 

- Eating simply is a bit of a cop out because we already do that. 

- Yeah, we had a birthday party on Saturday with a friend who seriously knows how to throw a party. No fasting there. 

- How do you measure being intentional? I'm not sure but I know I'm failing there, too. 

- Cash? Nope. 

- Meditation, fun school, blogging, letters, or giving bread? Nope, nope, nope, nope , and, uh, nope. 

And don't even get me started on our 'sacrifice jars.' They aren't even made. 

I'm consoling myself by saying it's only the second week, but, still I feel totally inadequate. Then again, isn't that the point of Lent? To remind us continually of our need for our Savior. If so, totally hitting Lent out of the park!

I did do two things 'okay' last week. Both food related of course. First, our vegetarian dish on Thursday:

It's a Lemon Ricotta pasta dish. I used spinach noodles and real spinach, too (you gotta get those veggies in). All in all, this dish was a success! Me and the boys liked it. 

And this is Friday's offering. Bourbon Glazed salmon with creamed chard and rice pilaf. Whereas the boys loved it, I was unsure. The pilaf was awesome, chard okay, and fish got a thumbs down. May try to tweak it for the future. 

Now, here's praying that I (and the boys)) will have much more success this week. :)

Liturgical Living for a Non-Liturgical...

So, I was so blessed by Advent that I really wanted to look more into the liturgical calendar this year.  I have slacked on a LOT, but with Lent being so close, I had to dust off the missal and look at a few things.  Here's a little of what's on my mind...

What is Lent?

Simply, it is a period of the liturgical year that leads into Holy Week and the celebration of Jesus' resurrection.  Lent is celebrated for the 40 days (minus Sundays) prior to  Resurrection Day, or Easter.  It is generally used to mimic the 40 days Jesus spent in the wilderness.

Why should we celebrate Lent?

Per my understanding, not being a strictly liturgical Christian, the liturgical calendar with all feasts and celebrations are designed to get our hearts closer to Jesus by remembering Him and His life.  Lent is a great way to remember what Jesus did in the wilderness, prayer and fasting, and how that resembled the Israelites 40 year journey through the wilderness.  Lent is also a great tool to prepare our hearts, minds, and bodies, both individually and corporately, for the celebration of Jesus' resurrection which is foundational to our faith.

How do we celebrate Lent?

In most traditions, Lent is celebrated with Prayer, Fasting, and Almsgiving, or any combination of these.  Most see Lent as a time to 'give up' or 'take up' a certain behavior.  This is certainly one way to celebrate.  When we 'give up' something, we are to use this as a tool to pray.  Every time you miss what you have given up, whether it's something mental or physical, you are reminded to pray.  This is a way in which prayer and fasting go hand in hand.  Almsgiving is often overlooked, but it is traditionally the giving to or helping of those less fortunate.

Currently, most Christians look for interpretations of fasting and almsgiving, meaning not literal fasting from food or giving of money to the poor.  So, you may hear of Christians giving up soda or sweets or volunteering at a soup kitchen or giving away unused household items or toys.  This is one of the reasons that Lent is a very personal liturgical celebration that plays out corporately.  The idea is that each person is sacrificing personally and drawing closer to Jesus to overcome their temptation which affects the corporate body of believers who are all celebrating this season.

Is it wrong for non-Catholics or non-liturgicals to celebrate Lent?

I don't think any Catholic or liturgical friends would beat you up for it.  And I don't think any of your true Christian brethren would either.  Most Catholic or liturgicals would probably enjoy the opportunity to share with you and some of your brethren might like to know more.  Ultimately you should discern for yourself what God would have you to do.  Remember, "All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful.  All things are lawful, but not all things build up.  Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor." (1 Cor 10:23-24 ESV)

What will celebrating Lent look like for me?

Generally it is accepted that people talk about 'how they celebrate Lent.'  You'll hear lots of people talking about 'what they're giving up or taking up for Lent.'  I think that's fine, but we need to try not to go overboard.  We are told in Matthew 6:16-18, "And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others.  Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.  But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret.  And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."  In other words, try not to complain or make yourself some sort of paragon of faith for what you're doing or giving up.  Just do it and do it well, heartily unto the Lord.

Now, having said all this, I'd like to give a general rundown of how I plan to celebrate Lent this year.  Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent and is on 5 March, this year.

3 March - (also the Hubs birthday) I plan to give a short lesson for Chas about what Lent is and common traditions, mostly the beginning of this, as well as, Scripture reading on the Temptation of Jesus in the wilderness.

4 March - Shrove Tuesday, or Mardi Gras, or Fat Tuesday.  Shrove comes from the word Shrive, which means confess.  This is the day before the sacrifice of Lent begins, which is the origin of Fat Tuesday and Mardi Gras.  It was a time of feasting before the fast.  I'll also give a lesson on this for school.  I'll also have a little 'feast' for dinner that night as well as a time of confession before we begin Lent.

5 March - Ash Wednesday.  Most who celebrate Lent go to special services and receive the mark of the cross in ash on their forehead.  I'm not sure we will make it to any services, but we may have our own (without ashes).  I really want to bring out the ideas of using ashes as a sign of mourning.

6 March -  Usually each individual picks out what they are doing before Lent begins and they are already doing it.  I have several ideas for myself (more on that later), but on this day I'll present Chas with my 'suggestion' as to what to do and let him brainstorm some ideas, too.  We'll make a list as well as a couple of index cards with verses to use to succeed.  After all, Jesus combatted his temptation in the wilderness with Scripture!

7 March - This will be a review day.  I'll try to reiterate why we are doing what we're doing and what it means.  I also really want Chas to make it his own without me forcing something on him.  I know he'll get more out of it that way.

8 March - I don't know how it'll go over with the fam, but I want to take my Saturdays as a true 'fast' day and Sabbath.  I'll have one meal, but that'll be it.  I don't know if I can succeed, but  I really want to at least try.  Hopefully it will be a way to prepare my heart for the worship services the next day.

9 March - This is the first Sunday of Lent.  As I said, Sundays are not included in Lent, so this may be used as a 'cheat' day depending on what Chas has chosen to do. We may also do the Scripture readings from the Lectionary (or on Monday).

After the first week, it'll be more low-key until Holy Week (I hope to make a separate post about how we'll celebrate that later.)  Here are a few things that I'll be trying to do:

- More exercise, not taking the closest parking spot

- Going to bed and waking up at set times

- Not hitting the snooze button (more than one time) :)

- Eat more simply

- Weekly 'fast' on Saturday (only one meal)

- Be more intentional (including a reinstating of THE Schedule)

- Use cash only, no debit card unless absolutely necessary (and a milkshake isn't necessary)

- Practice more meditation on God's Word, not just prayer, reading, and study

- Do one 'fun' activity for school a week

- Blog more, at least weekly (this is for me, since I'm pretty sure no one actually reads it)

- Write one letter or card to a friend a week

- Give my 'extra' loaf of bread away (and baking it more regularly)

I saw a really neat idea that I plan to implement (Here's the original post ).  It's called a 'Sacrifice Jar.'  Each of us (The Hubs, Chas, & I) will have a jar and every time we succeed at a task (No snooze! No complaining! One letter sent!) or when we've been tempted and called on Jesus to overcome, we'll place one 'seed' (in my case it'll be a black-eyed pea) in the jar.  It's a visual representation of accomplishment, but it serves another purpose.  On Resurrection Day Eve, I'll replace the peas with M&M's or another treat.  And to show grace, the number of treats won't be based on the number of peas but will be overflowing from the jar.  We don't do Easter, or the Easter bunny, or Easter baskets, so treats are lacking that morning anyway.  I don't feel guilty about that, but I just love this illustration of God's grace.  It doesn't matter how much you've failed or succeeded, your cup can still run over because He is Risen!!

So, there are my lofty, lofty goals.  I'm sure I'll succeed at some and fail miserably at others.  That's life, right?  However, I can't let the fear of failure keep me from trying.

What a clogged drain taught me about God...

I like to cook.  I think I've shared that before.  If you know me, you know this.  I like to eat, too.  Probably more than I like to cook.  Because when you eat, you don't have to do the clean up like you do if you cook.  I don't like to do the clean up.  I do it, because if I don't, I'll have nothing to cook or eat off of the next day.

I'm notorious for throwing things down the garbage disposal.  Especially the way our apartment is layed out now.  It's so much easier to scrape a pear or a potato over the sink than the trash.  Generally it isn't a problem.  It can take it.  I've thrown the things that are on the approved list: pear peelings, the ends off my green beans, leftovers, etc.  I've also thrown in the big No-no's: egg shells, potato peelings, an apple core (it was chopped into pieces already!).  It really hasn't been a problem.  The Hubs has taught me well how to make one run properly.  Only use cold water so it doesn't overheat.  Don't let it run too long.  Throw in some dish soap to lubricate once in a while.  I even throw in the lemons to make it smell nice.

So, you can see why it was such a surprise that my garbage disposal decided to vomit on me tonight. There I was just minding my own business, peeling my sweet potatoes, trimming my green beans.  Then when I went to 'dispose' of everything, the disposal didn't do it's job.  It gurgled and banged and then swooshed!  With that swoosh came a HUGE amount of water that typhooned all over me and the kitchen.  So, I did what I normally would do in this situation.  I turned off the water and disposal and then yelled for the Hubs.  Naturally, he came downstairs and had it fixed within 15 minutes.

As I sat here, reading a book and waiting for him to be done so I could finish cooking, I started thinking.  What would I do if he wasn't here?  That has been a valid question before since he has done 2 deployments to Iraq.  Would I call our maintenance guys?  Would I attempt to fix the clogged sink on my own?  Would I call a friend for help?  or Would I just be more careful about what I put down the drain?!  Knowing me, it would be the latter.

Having dealt with deployments and other absences, I smiled because I was so thankful that the Hubs was, in fact, here and I could once again throw things haphazardly into the garbage disposal.  I had faith.  Faith that if it clogged or broke, he could fix it.  It isn't a blind faith.  I've seen him fix the sink, tub, electrical outlet, car, washing machine, etc.  You name it, he's probably had to fix it for me.  

And this is what made me think about God, particularly my faith in Him.  I'm so timid, so shy, so anxious.  Why?  Because a lot of the time I behave as if I'm in this on my own.  As if I would have to 'fix the sink by myself.'  But that isn't the case.  God is there.  He's there to help.  I can go into most situations without fear because I know that He is there with me and ready to fight, rescue, or strengthen me.  And here's the thing: It, too, isn't a blind faith!  He's shown Himself to be faithful to me, time and again.  And not just me, I've heard it from friends and family, read it in the Bible, heard about it on TV, radio, and in books.

This isn't a new revelation.  This isn't a new idea.  This isn't even new to me.  But it is something that I needed right now.  I know I'll probably need it again, but I'm thankful that I am able to find some good perspective out of a minor catastrophe!

Land, ho!!

Oh, where to start!!  I think I'll take a cue from one of my favorite singing (almost) nuns, Maria von Trapp and start at the very beginning, after all, it's a very good place to start.

A couple years ago, God gave the Hubs and I a couple clear directives.  One of those was to move to Middle Tennessee.  It was kind of odd, since the Hubs was on active duty at the time and since we owned land in Missouri where we'd always hoped to retire.  But, we listened.  It took a while, but we made it to Middle Tennessee, still a little unsure.

We knew that we needed to sell the land in Missouri and get some land in Tennessee, but we weren't entirely sure how we were going to go about this.  You see our place in MO, had earned a pretty funny nickname: The Barn of Many Wonders.  We had acquired quite a mass of things and not just little things here and there, but some rather LARGE things.  Like cars, car parts, furniture, and a '47 2 ton truck.  In other words, the contents wouldn't really fit in a Uhaul.  Still, we knew what we had to do.

So we did it.  It worked out great, really.  This past summer (2013), the house we were renting sold.  It kinda freaked us out at first, but we started looking for places to rent.  We found one, but it wouldn't be ready for a month or so, so we decided to got to Missouri and stay with my fam.  While there, the Hubs could go over to our land and start clearing out the junk and liquidating the rest.  When he wasn't in SWMO (Southwest Missouri), he built a bathroom for my parents, but that's another post entirely.

So, with the barn empty (mostly), we listed the land and waited.  We were blessed because it really didn't take long.  I'm not sure the exact date we listed, but we moved into our new place at the end of August/beginning of September and we closed on the land at the end of October.  It was awesome and scary all at the same time.  We'd completed our first phase, but now we were without land.  For the Hubs, it was the first time in his life that he'd been without land.

The TN land search was underway.  We searched, high and low.  All over middle TN, and let me tell you, that is a large area.  It took a while, a lot of help from our real estate agent (a blessed man!), and a LOT of work from the Hubs, but we finally found our place and closed last week (3 Jan 14)!

So, what now?  Well, a lot of work to begin with.  This particular piece of land has been severely mistreated.  It's going to take a bit to get it taken care of properly.  After that, we'll begin our home.  We've already been drawing up plans for homes and I've been pinning like mad.  I have no idea when we'll actually break ground or even be finished, but I cannot wait.

The other big part of our plan isn't quite as easily named.  We want chickens and a garden and to be as 'green' as possible (even though, I detest that term) and be somewhat sustainable.  I don't really like the term homestead and farm isn't acurate and we're definitely not 'preppers.'  The best term I've heard used is 'farmette,' but I think that is just because it's a fun word and a little bit girly.  (Kinda like the time the Hubs and I laughed and refered to him as Quasi-Clergy, just because it was a funny word). I don't like to label it and I don't think I identify with any of those groups either.  I do like to read from each of those areas and I think we'll incorporate several of those ideas, but not the entirety.  

In any event, we are heading in a new area and as scary as it is, I'm really excited.  I know that it is a huge undertaking and we really do have quite a road ahead.  I hope to detail it here.  I really want to have some sort of log of our journey and progress.  First up will be some pics, but I'm telling ya, it is not in a good condition right now.  

Monday's Musing...

... So have you ever had one of those days?  You know when you've already got a plan for the day the night before and then you oversleep and then you talk to the Hubs and find out that he had a complete different plan and then remember that you also have to teach your son an English lesson that you forgot to plan and then call for both a doctor's appointment and a hair appointment and don't get either one and then realize it's almost 2pm and you not only haven't gotten anything on your list done, but you've also not really gotten ANYTHING done all day?

Yeah, it's one of THOSE days for me.  Ugh, I kinda just want to curl up and take a nap.  And to be honest, that's what I would normally do.  Well, maybe not a nap, but I'd do something else completely and think, oh, well, I'll take care of all that tomorrow. 

But you see, I'm trying to do some things different.  Not resolutions or anything like that.  I'm just trying to live the life I think God wants me to live. It's hard.  So, in that vein, I'm going to try to plan out my week (not day) ahead of time.  It's already half through Monday, so I'm behind, but that's okay.  As my dear friend, Lysa TerKeurst, said, it's all about 'Imperfect Progress.'

This is from Ms. TerKeurst's Unglued event in Bowling Green, KY.  Okay, so she's not actually a 'dear' friend, but I did LOVE the book and the event.  I highly recommend it.

Radiators, Wrong turns, & Revelations...

Hello, all!

So, it has been a long time since I blogged. The plain and simple reason is because I haven't had anything 'blog-worthy' to share. It's not that I haven't had stuff going on (boy, have I!), it just hasn't been anything I thought was worth taking the time to write out or have other read. 

This all changed yesterday when I was driving back to Tennessee from a visit with my parents. I started thinking about an incident that happened just before we pulled out of the driveway. My dad was checking out my car, as he normally does before I head out on the long 4-hour trek home. I had complained earlier that my windshield wiper fluid had run dry and even though the Hubs had refilled it, it still wasn't working. He got the fluid from the trunk and began to look for the reservoir cap, I had no clue where it was, being car illiterate, but I noticed a small reservoir with a bright yellow cap and the wiper symbol on it. My dad started to take the cap off when Chas came over. He adamantly told Poppy that that was wrong. Chas pointed to the next reservoir, which also had a yellow cap. Poppy replied telling him that that was for the radiator.  Chas was having none of it. He saw his dad a week earlier fill up up the windshield wiper fluid and it was in THAT place. I have to admit that my dad handled it wonderfully. He showed Chas the tubes that led from THAT reservoir to the radiator. The kicker of course was when Dad finished and the windshield wiper fluid sprayed up cleaning a very dirty windshield. 

Now, why is this story important? Well, I called the Hubs while I was driving down the road to tease him a bit about being so rushed that he put the wiper fluid in the wrong place, but I also told him that he should be happy because his son had unbelievable faith in him. Even with me and his Poppy telling him otherwise, he still believed that his dad had done the right thing. Our conversation was cut short, but that part of the conversation lingered with me as I continued my journey. I began to think about my Heavenly Father. Do I have that trust and faith in Him? It's kind of easy to when things go well, but what about when they don't? 

I just started a new study at church on the topic of our emotions. The book has been great! Just like most of the women I've talked to I have a problem with my patience running thin and my anger and frustration getting the better of me. However, I think my bigger problem with my emotions is letting ALL my 'feelings' get in the way. I have a tendency to let things spiral out of control when things aren't going well. I become ruled by my feelings, whatever they are at that particular moment: sad, happy, scared, angry. Scared is a BIG one. 

Then, yesterday I had that revelation. What if I could trust God the way Chas trusted his dad? What if I truly believed and acted as if I had complete and total faith in God? That is what He desires. He shows time and time again in His Word and in my life that He in in control. 

So, I am working on that being MY desire as well. When I'm running late and start to get anxious or Chas is trying my patience or the storms of life are surging. God is in control. When I make a 3 wrong turns adding an extra 30 minutes to an already very long trip? God's still in control! Lord, please help me in this. El Elyon!

Pleasantly exhausted...

This is kind of an odd concept to me.  Usually I'm either one or the other - pleasant or exhausted.  However, I'm so excited right now because I feel both.  It is no surprise to those who know me to hear that I didn't sleep well last night.  I've suffered bouts of insomnia for as long as I can remember.  To top that off, I had to get up early due to some vehicular problems. 

All in all I was set up to be quite cranky and have a generally bad day (especially when you add in the allergy/sinus problems everyone in New England is suffering from).  However, I'm happy to report that even after some minor bumps, I've had not just a good day, but an AMAZING day!

I spent most of the day with a new and very dear friend.  She taught me so many things!  We worked with several different types of dough and made 2 loaves of bread, 2 loaves of 'cinnamon roll' bread, bagels, and orange rolls - all from scratch!  And to add to the joy, she gave me a knitting refresher while we waited for dough to rise or bake.

Once again, those who know me, know that I'm not a cook, or much of a baker unless it comes from a box.  And I will admit that I didn't do a whole lot myself, but I did learn and I was able to enjoy a great day full of fun and true Christian fellowship!

I really hope that I'm able to work on these skills some more.  It was so much fun and we have such great things to show for it, but even if I don't, it will be okay.  I will still carry with me the joy of today and the memories we've created.

Btw, in can anyone is interested, here are a few photos of what we made:

This is one loaf of the bread.  This stuff is amazing.  I haven't cut into my loaf yet, but I've had it before and I LOVE it!

These are the Cinnamon Roll bread.  I had this tonight for dessert and I am in love.  It is incredibly yummy and really hard to stop after just one piece.

These are the Orange Rolls.  Imagine cinnamon rolls, but with an orange zest filling and orange glaze on top.  I'll admit that I ate one of these as soon as we got home and then proceeded to eat another!

One of the things I find coolest was making these bagels.  They may not look great, or even really like bagels, but they taste great AND once again, they are made from scratch.  I cannot even believe we did that.  I've never heard of that before in my life.  I think I may have scared my friend just a bit when she saw how excited I was that we were attempting these.  :)