06 November 2015

Friday Favorites

5 Favorites of Fall


Wow!  Do I really have to limit it to 5?  I SERIOUSLY love fall.  It is one of my favorite seasons and this fall has been especially beautiful.  It’s easy to think of things I love about fall, but it may be hard to limit it to just 5!

1.  The Leaves – I mean, really, how can you not start there?  I really feel sorry for those who don’t get to experience the colors of fall.  We’ve been blessed on our foliage appreciation pursuits and were able to take a drive through the Berkshires of Massachusetts one year.  We also toured the Ave Maria Grotto in Cullman, AL a few years ago.  I’m sure that it is an amazing sight at any time, but as we walked through the Grotto with leaves falling and majestic colors everywhere, it was extra special.  This year, we’ve been blessed to be on our own land.  I’ve been amazed at how vibrant the colors are up here.  As a friend described the other day when she drove out here, “It’s like being IN a postcard!”

2.  The Weather – Now, I know for many fall means rain and that’s true here, too.  However, you can’t really have the cooler weather come in without a bit of a disturbance.  We had an extremely hot and miserable summer this year, so I am so very thankful for the drop in temps.  It has stayed extraordinarily pleasant for quite some time, light jacket weather as my grandma used to say.  It is a blessed respite between the sweltering heat of summer and the bone-chilling winter.

3.  The Clothes – It’s no secret that I’m a little… fluffy.  Therefor tank tops, shorts, and maxi skirts aren’t really my best friends.  No, my body is much more suited for sweaters, scarves, and hoodies.  But it doesn’t stop there!  With fall, we also get boots and tights and hats, oh my!  Not to mention my fair complexion works much better with the browns and reds and oranges rather than pastels and neons.  Yes, the clothes of fall are definitely on my list.

4.  The Holidays – Fall is like the calm before the storm.  Once the cool weather begins, we know that it’s only a few short months before the holiday season sets in.  If you are deliberate and intentional, you can enjoy this blessed peace and prepare for the coming onslaught.  Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays ever.  Probably because it’s all about gratitude, family, and food.  I don’t have to stress about gifts and money; I can just sit back and enjoy and be thankful.  And with Thanksgiving begins my favorite holiday trifecta:  Thanksgiving, Christ the King Day, and Advent.  Last year, Advent was a huge hit with our son and I look forward to celebrating this year, too.

5.  The Food – This could probably top my list on about any subject, but I especially love fall foods.  Last summer we were in a CSA and I loved getting all the fresh summer veggies.  I was almost distraught when fall came around.  What would I cook now?  Since eating seasonally is definitely a passion, I began to learn about fall foods and I fell in love.  Butternut squash, acorn squash, stews, chili, etc.  You also have apple and pear everything, cider, hot chocolate, and pumpkin.  I know that not everyone is on the bandwagon, but I’m a pumpkin girl.  We actually stock up on canned pumpkin in the fall and eat it year round.  I love pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin coffee, well, you get my drift.

BonusBonfires – Recently we went over to a friend’s and roasted hot dogs and made s’mores and drank coffee.  Does it get any better?


So, what about you?  What are your fall faves?  Grab a pumpkin spice latte, curl up in your favorite hoodie and tell me all about it.

03 November 2015

"I used to think _____ and now I think _____."

 I used to think the Kingdom of God was very small, but now I know how big and rich it is.

I don’t remember the date at all, but I remember the conversation:

Woman:  So, why don’t you go to Mega Church Down the Road?

Me:  Well, you see, they believe and practice Pet Doctrine I Didn’t Even Really Understand.

Woman: …

This conversation really did happen and almost exactly like this.  That woman was my boss.  I had no clue where she stood with the Lord or where (or if) she went to church.  And to be honest, I guess I didn’t care.  Because those weren’t things I asked or talked to her about.  Ever.  However, I did have this conversation that still today makes me cringe over 10 years later.

Shortly after that, I ran into a woman who was in seminary.  It wasn’t so rare considering the seminary that my husband went to, but I had very definite opinions on that.  Those opinions didn’t coincide with this woman, however.  She was smart and articulate.  She loved Jesus and people.  She asked me a similar question as the one above.  Here’s how this conversation went:

Seminarian Woman:  Oh, you don’t go to Blank Church?

Me:  No.  I just don’t agree with This Doctrine?

Seminarian Woman:  Really?  I like to go to a church and see if the Spirit of God is there.  That’s what I look for first.

Me: …

Yeah, I’m pretty sure I responded, but I’m sure that whatever I said was about as good as all I’ve referenced so far.  But her answer stuck with me.  I’ve thought about it a lot over the years and it’s definitely influenced me.  Even though it took me another several years to take it to heart.

Fast forward another few years and my husband was on active duty as a military chaplain.  Our first duty station was in Southern California.  During our time there, we became close friends with an Assembly of God chaplain and came into contact with host of others.  But we never found a church home.  Being a chaplain, my husband didn’t really want to go to the chapel (it was like bringing work home).  We visited several other churches who had the same or similar name on the front as ours back home.  But none of those churches had what we were really looking for:  the Spirit of God.

Our next duty station was in Rhode Island.  We went to a church (of our flavor) and it was good.  The preaching was sound, but the people never really welcomed us.  Then we had to go on base to the chapel.  The atmosphere wasn’t great, but since the base was very transient, it wasn’t long until we got a new chaplain and worship leader and things began to change.  God’s word was preached and a new worship team truly led our hearts in worship.

I’d never seen anything like it.  Being brought up in the Bible belt, most people I knew went to church because it was were you were supposed to be on Sunday mornings and occasional Sunday or Wednesday nights.  I’d never really known another way.  Until this chapel.  For the first time, I saw people coming to church who were just there because they loved God.  It was life changing.

In this chapel, I learned what worship was and what it could do.  I heard God’s word preached with authority and I saw people coming together, those who knew Jesus and those who wanted to.  I began to volunteer with the women’s ministry at the chapel and ran into all different brands of Christianity and religion.  I sat at potluck dinners with Seventh Day Adventists, Universalists, and Evangelicals.  I taught bible studies with Catholics and Protestants.

And while this was going on during Sundays and Wednesdays, I was in a concurrent Bible study with a group of moms from my son’s school.  Their diversity rivaled that of the chapel.  When we weren’t at the chapel, we attended a Reform Church.  I found a new love for Jesus, His Scripture, and His people.  I found something in this place that I didn’t even know I was looking for: the Kingdom of God.

You see, once we really experienced the Spirit of God, unhindered, we found God’s Kingdom.  When we gathered with those who didn’t care about pet doctrines or buzzwords, but just focused on Jesus and being led by His Spirit, we encountered what Jesus had spent His time on earth preaching – The Kingdom!

Because God’s Kingdom is so much more and so much bigger than I could ever imagine.  Not to mention the fact that I’m not called to define or defend the Kingdom, I’m called to seek it.

02 November 2015

Status Report: October

Well, it has been a good while since I reported anything about the house.  I have to say that it is a little intentional.  It’s been a hard summer.  Chas and I spent the majority of it with family and friends, while Nathan worked on the house.

He got a lot done, of course, without, uh, distractions (ie, me & Chas).  However, we’ve been back together for a while and as you would expect, progress has slowed.  Life keeps getting in the way, the yard needs mowed, the camper (where we are currently staying) needs to be worked on, friends invite us over, the yard needs mowed again!

That isn’t to say that nothing is getting done.  I’m happy to report that we are almost done with deconstruction.  It seems like I’ve been saying that for a few weeks now, but it’s really true.  All the drywall has been removed and now Nathan just has to clear out the living room and rip up the floor.



Then the good part begins:  CONSTRUCTION! (after a visit from the Orkin man – my personal hero)

I’ve been assured by many that this part will go much quicker.  I hope so because deconstruction has almost broken me.  I knew this was going to be a LONG term project.  It is a marathon and not a sprint, but considering I have trouble with a 5K, I’m a bit impatient. 

Every time we push back a deadline or something gets in the way, I want to scream and stomp and throw a tantrum that would make your threenager look like an angel straight from heaven.  I have to stop myself and realize that this is just a season.  Each time I am convinced that we will live in a 30-ft camper for the rest of our lives and I have to renew my mind.

Right now, we are hoping to winter over in the camper.  The roof will hopefully be done by winter and we will actually move into our house in spring.  If all goes to plan, we may actually be done by our projected date of 31 Dec 2016.  This is our plan, our hope, and our prayer.



As for right now, I’m trying to lean into the discomfort.  I am trying to realize that things could be worse.  I’m trying to remember that the suffering makes the joy that much sweeter.  And above all, I’m trying to do all of it to His glory, since that is what it’s all about anyway.

Out of Sorts by Sarah Bessey



What an amazing way to begin a book that is essentially the faith journey of author Sarah Bessey!  I have to admit that I was hooked from the beginning; an intro that perfectly sums up my current stage of life and Christian maturity.

The style of writing of Sarah Bessey has a quality to it that almost seems sculpted and poetic.  The pictures that she paints with her verbiage are as beautiful as the concepts that she is explaining.  This book is no different.  I found myself often staggered by the images that she used.  In a word, it was beautiful.

However, this is not a book of mere beauty and no substance.  Each chapter has a unique title and subject that could probably stand alone but when gathered together in this way, they absolutely shine.  While articulating beliefs (both her own and others) on various aspects of the Christian life, Sarah Bessey invites readers on her journey while encouraging them to embark on their own.

“I wanted to follow Jesus: not a way of thinking or a doctrine, not a sermon or a list of rules, not political affiliations and church denominations or a path to a shiny-happy life or anything like that.  I wanted to follow him and love him, right to the end, wherever he led.”
- Chapter 2, Out of Sorts

While I cannot claim to agree with everything she has articulated in this book, I feel that that in and of itself is okay.  Ms. Bessey gives the reader permission to disagree and figure it out on their own while still challenging you to seek the hard things and not shy away just because it is hard or sad or unpopular. 

“What I thought I knew or what I thought I believed turned out to be seeing through a glass darkly.  Even now, I am fairly certain I only have a small candle to aid my vision.”
- Chapter 4, Out of Sorts

Sarah herself proclaims that she doesn’t quite have it all figured out (not anymore #recoveringknowitall) and that what she does have figured out may change as she grows and matures.  That is the central lesson of the book, in my view.  We are constantly sorting; continuously going through the boxes of our faith and throwing out the old to make room for the new.  If we aren’t living a life of faith that is growing, maturing, and living, then we aren’t really living a life of faith.

“Anyone who gets to the end of their life with the exact same beliefs and opinions as they had at the beginning is doing it wrong.”
  - Chapter 5, Out of Sorts

We can’t take someone else’s word for matters as important as these.  They are ours to wrestle with and figure out, to store and to give away.  That is what Sarah Bessey does in this book.  From issues ranging the gambit from Jesus to Community to Grief, she takes a hard look at the ideas that permeate our current Christian climate and then looks at them from a Biblical and historic view.  Even though, the book is written from her unique perspective,  it is quite easy to plug in your own sorting.

“Who do you say he is?  And not the proper Sunday-school answer, not the lists of attributes or the memorized Bible verses – not here, not in this place.  When we are sorting through our very core self, this isn’t the time for the mask of right answers.  This is the time for the honesty.  In your heart of hearts, in your raw place of grief and suffering, in your rich center of love and redemption, who do you say God is?  There, in that place, who is he to you now?”
- Chapter 10, Out of Sorts

Above all else, there is a value on Truth and honesty and a call for us to clear out the attic space of our own faith and to not be scared of what we might find.  There may be things that absolutely need to be tossed, but there may also be things of beauty that need to be restored.  We must be honest and claim each item no matter where it came from or when we received it.  There is beauty in that as well, because it is all a part of us.  It is all part of our journey.  However, we cannot simply hold on to things due to sentimentality.  We have to make the hard choices in this sorting process.  And whichever it is, it is up to us to begin this process and to be led by the Holy Spirit into all Truth.  And sorting.

“I know you feel a bit out of sorts.  We all do sometimes.  It’s okay.  Don’t be afraid.”

- Benediction, Out of Sorts


30 October 2015

Friday Favorites


5 Good Things about Living in a Camper


It’s been a while since I wrote a Friday Five/Friday Favorites (Life, man!), so I thought I’d couple a few things together with this entry.  Whenever our son is being especially negative, I make him stop and list 3 positive things.  If he’s negative about a situation, he has to list 3 things that he’s thankful for.  If he’s negative about a person, he has to list 3 positive things about that person.  You get the idea.

Well, lately I have been VERY negative about a lot.  Including, but not limited to, our living situation.  Specifically the wonderful, blessed camper that we are living in (it was loaned to us free of charge by a friend for as long as we need – blessed!).  So, I figured that I would list 5 positives for living in this transient way.

1. A smaller home means a smaller area to clean.  Seriously, it takes about 2 minutes to “clean up” the kitchen.  Smaller counter space means less to wipe down.  Not to mention that there’s only one spot of carpet that I have to worry about!  Less cleaning makes me a happy camper!  (Haha! See what I did thar?)

2. No rent.  A lot of people have questioned why we’d move out of a perfectly nice apartment before the house was done.  Well, it makes no sense to me why we’d continue to pay to rent an apartment when we have a home.  Less money out means more money to go to the renovation.

3. Transient lifestyle.  This one is a bit harder to define, especially if you’ve never lived this kind of crazy life.  Whereas the nomadic/transient life can cause a fair amount of stress, there’s also something really freeing about just living.  So there’s really no place to store my yarn so it just sits in the floor?  Okay.  Chas sleeps on the pullout, so he has to keep all his stuff piled neatly in the living area?  No problem.  Once you realize that you can’t completely organize/control this situation into submission, there’s a bit of freedom.

4. You think more about what you buy (groceries).  I love food and I love to cook and I also love to grocery shop.  I love the colors and the fresh produce.  I like talking to the butcher and finding out new things and recipes.  It’s just fun.  However, with limited pantry and refrigerator space and limited cooking tools, I have to think more conservatively before I buy.

5. Our homestead.  If we were still renting a place, I wouldn’t get the opportunity to live out here on our land.  And it is beautiful!  I really do love it.  It’s quiet and peaceful.  It’s so amazing to watch the sun set over the rolling, green hills.  It’s pretty cool to walk over and grab a chestnut off the tree and crack it and eat it.  It’s even fun to watch the squirrels and birds and, even, the wooly aphids roam about.  I can’t imagine being anywhere else.  Especially today as I drove home from town and saw the leaves changing and the sun setting.  

16 September 2015

For the Love... of a Launch Team


It’s been just over a week since I went to Austin, TX.  I have been through there several times, but I’d never really stopped.  But this visit wasn’t just to sightsee.  I traveled from Nashville, TN to Austin, TX for a party.  But this wasn’t just any party.  It was a book launch party for Jen Hatmaker’s For The Love

Jen Hatmaker is the author of 11 books
                                    
However, this journey didn’t really start a week ago.  No, it actually started last March.  I had finished Jen’s book Interrupted and started to follow her on Facebook and Twitter.  That’s when I saw her post about applying to join her Launch Team.  I’d applied for a couple teams before but never got on.  I figured I’d go ahead and apply.  After all, Interrupted had been amazing.

Then another amazing thing happened.  I was picked.  I didn’t find out until later that 5000 people applied and only 500 were chosen.  I was part of this group.  I received an advanced digital copy of the book and later a hard copy advanced book.  I also joined a private Facebook group, a community. 

Launch Team love because who doesn't love swag.
                                     
Of course in March, I didn’t know that.  I really didn’t understand much about it at all.  It started small.  Most people posted about the book, parts they liked, quotes, etc.  Then a few started posting about their life, funny stories about their children, pictures, etc.  Before long, people started sharing prayer requests, life stories, and struggles.

In the months that followed we became friends and prayer warriors.  This little group of women (and 4 men) became a community.  They knit together to lift members up in prayer and also we started to gather in small groups all over the country.  People lived out the gospel, as well as the central message of the book we were launching:  Grace. 

When a sister posted about a need, there was response.  Those who could give, gave.  Those who couldn’t be there physically prayed.  Groceries were given.  Refuge was given.  Travel to the launch party was given.  A car was given.  And that is just the physical stuff.  Support was given for those who were having difficulty in marriages, difficulty in raising children, taking care of parents, ministry needs.  Friends were made who’d never met in real life.

It was a safe place for people who were searching, for people who’d been hurt, for people who needed a safe place.

Then a week ago, over 200+ of these women converged on Austin, TX.  I was a scholarship kid.  I didn’t have an FTLBFF (For The Love Best Friend Forever).  I really didn’t know what to expect.  I was flying to Austin alone, in a shirt emblazoned with the book title, in hopes of running into some of my FTL sisters in the airport.  And I did.

All alone at the Austin airport, waiting on my FTL sisters.
                                 
I also made some really great friendships over the course of the weekend.  I was challenged to get out of my comfort zone and I was able to introvert a little, too.  Sure, we did some sightseeing and some shopping.  We even went to the main event, the party at Jen Hatmaker’s house!  And we did church together on Sunday. But those things seem small in comparison to what really happened over the weekend.  Our community, which had largely been online, met.  We came together.  We hugged.  We loved.

Just a few of the beautiful women I was blessed to spend time with.
                                         
Faces I recognized and those that I didn’t came together with stories that’d been shared over the course of several months.  I was able to hug and talk to those who I’d been praying for and hear about continued requests and answered prayers.

I didn’t engage a lot (#ambivertproblems), but I observed a lot.  I still want to cry when I think about it, when I think about the things that were shared during that weekend, barbeque and donuts, tears and laughs, fears and joys, bread and wine, love and grace.

Just a few of the ladies (seriously).
                               
I still struggle with putting it all into words.  A week later and I still don’t think I’ve processed what all it means and how it has affected me, even as I’m awakened by texts from my new FTLBFF’s and praying for my FTL sisters. 

Food + Great ladies = An amazing time.
                                   
And if I can’t completely comprehend what has happened here in this place, I don’t know how to share it with others.  Other than showing them.  Loving them.  Giving grace as freely as it has been given to me.
                                   
Meeting Jen was great.  She was the one that brought us together.
But in the end, this was just a small part of an amazing time.
                               

19 August 2015

Why Wednesday? Homeschool

Why We Homeschool?

Now, here’s a topic for discussion, right?  There are so many opinions on schooling.  I know that this is a hot topic, so please bear with me.  This may be long and you may not agree.  I am fully aware that how and where you school your child is a personal choice (even how each homeschooler schools is a debate and a topic for another day).  I merely want to try to explain why we do what we do.

When Chas turned 5, we were living in Springfield, MO.  Since his birthday was in April, I knew he’d be starting school that following September.  I started looking at the school he’d be attending and I couldn’t believe that such a milestone was already upon us.  There was no question in my mind about where or how he would be schooled.

So one day, when the Hubs came home, I started talking to him and telling him about all that we needed to do in the coming months to get him ready for school and talking about this school and all that I’d already found out.  He stopped me cold in my tracks and said that he thought we should homeschooling.  I could NOT believe what I was hearing.  Homeschooling was something that weird families did and only produced weird, antisocial children.  How could he suggest such?!

And on top of that, how on earth could I teach our child the things he needed to learn in school?  How does one teach a child to read?  Or that 2+2=4?  I just wasn’t equipped for that.  After 5 years, I still wasn’t convinced that I was cut out for mothering, now he wanted me to teach him ALL THE THINGS?  So, my answer was simple and firm.  I said, “No.”  There was no room for discussion and no changing my mind.  I didn’t want to hear reasons or direction from God.  My answer was No and that was it.  (It’s one of 2 times in the past 16 years of marriage that this has happened.)

Nathan didn’t push me, but he did continue to pray.  As we investigated the school and found it less than desirable, he still didn’t say anything.  We kept moving forward in that direction because in my mind, there was no other option.  Our son was school age and he would go to the public school we were zoned for.  That’s just what you did.

However, God had other plans and He even worked around my stubbornness.  He moved us from Springfield, MO to Gallatin, TN.  While in Gallatin, we ran into the same problem with a less than desirable public school.  But another option presented itself in the form of a small private, Christian, church school.  We couldn’t really afford it, but they school was small and in true Christian manner, they worked with us.  Nathan even taught classes there to supplement tuition.

I won’t say that Chas got the best education there, but he did do well and learn the things that a kindergartner and first grader should learn.  From there, we continued to move around and God continued to provide good private school options (except for one semester in a public school in CA, but even that was redeemed!).  Chas attended private and mostly Classical schools.

But at one of those schools he was so bullied that my heart was torn in two.  He was hit in one place on his arm until the kids drew blood.  He was so distraught that he once told me that he didn’t even want to live anymore.  I was DONE.  We were in an area where there were no other options.  It was through this that the Lord put homeschooling back in my mind and fostered it in my heart.  I didn’t care if I would be a great teacher.  I didn’t care about my fears of my inadequacies.  My baby was being hurt and it had to stop.  I was finally ready.  Scared out of my mind, but I was ready.  But God being who and what He is, still provided and we found a different (and amazing!) school.

Yet, that homeschooling burden didn’t go away.  So, when Nathan came home one day and told me that he was getting out of the Navy (the 2nd time I said, “No.”) and moving back to Tennessee, I knew that we were going to homeschool when we got there.  And I was able to prepare.  I spoke to MANY families that homeschool, both Christian families who homeschool for theological reasons and military families who homeschool for practical reasons.

The ultimate reason that we homeschool is because I believe that it is my job to educate my child.  It is a command that we are given in Scripture.  Some do this by sending their child to a public or private school.  We choose to do this at home because if I am accountable for what he learns and how he learns it, then I want to do the best job I can.  I don’t think that will happen at a public school in the current and present culture that we live in.  There is just as much indoctrination that happens as true education and we must be aware.  Instead of working to counteract even the most subtle of errors, we’ve chosen to completely remove the problem.


I’ve had to repent for saying “No” in the beginning and I’ve grieved for the time we lost.  However, I am thankful that even in my rebellion that God redeemed it and gave Chas an amazing education.  I would advise anyone who has a child that is school aged to pray for what it is that God would have you do concerning your child and their education.  Don’t spend time worrying about whether you are competent or what others might say.  Choose what is best for him/her, whatever that might be.