A little something new: Questions and linkup

So, I've never done anything like this before, but this just seemed like too much fun!  This week's linkup was hosted by one of my favorite sites Carrots for Michaelmas.  Here are my answers:

1. What's the scariest thing that's ever been in your yard?

Well, that would probably be a scorpion.  This was made infinitely scarier by the fact that it was directly behind Chas (he was 7 at the time).  We were living in the Mojave Desert at the time.  I didn't mind the lizzards and we were blessed to never see a trantula!

2. Beards.  Thumbs up or thumbs down?

At this point in time, thumbs WAY up!  Never been a fan of beards.  I blame it on the Hubs and being around military bases.  However, since he spent a little downtime last year cultivating a really nice beard, I have to say that I'm now a fan.  :)

3. If stuff breaks, can you fix it?

Not even a little.  I mean, when Chas was little and an arm popped off an action figure, I could pop it back on, sometimes.  But no, I am not a fix-it type person.  I have the Hubs for that.  He's very mechanical.

4. What was your first car?

1998 Ford Escort SE.  I LOVED that car.  That car was beautiful and it was freedom.  All the way up until we found out a car seat didn't fit in the back.  :(

5. How often do you eat out?

Too much.  Ideally, we eat out once a week on Sundays after church.  It's a family thing and we almost always end up running into church family.  We made it fun.  The Hubs, Chas, and I take turns picking places, so its a great way to get to eat at all those places that we normally wouldn't.  However, we do tend to stop at Noodles & Co. before buying groceries (can't shop on an empty stomach!) or a quick run to Chickffila here and there.  Sigh.

6. Why is your hair like that?

Well, I love my hair.  I had long, long hair until my junior year of high school.  Then I started cutting it, just a little here and there and I couldn't stop.  I love changing it up and cutting a new style was the quickest way to do that.  It got short, y'all.  And you can only cut for so long.  That's when I started experimenting with color.  Purple is still my fave, but I get the most compliments from the 'calico' style that I have now (brown with red and blond highlights).  And, once I got done with all the cutting, I decided to start growing it out again.  I love it long!  Ponytails rock.  I don't know how long I'll get it, but I see no end in sight since my hair grows at a snails pace.

I am a BAD patient...

I cannot stand to be out of commission.  I really can't.  I guess it's the rebel in me, but when I cannot do what I want to do when I want to do it, it kind of drives me insane.  Now, I don't necessarily mean when I am occupied, I more often mean incapacitated.  Sure, it's not great when I'm so busy that I can't get my laundry done, but I'm really upset when I'm sick or injured and just have to lie around and convalesce rather than doing whatever needs done.

I'm a bad patient, too.  I often oscillate between trying to overdo and underdo.  Oh, I feel better?  Let me just clean the house top to bottom for the next 6 hours. Or, no, I can't possibly put away the laundry I'm still recovering from that sneeze 3 weeks ago.  I don't want to make things worse, after all.

I am battling right now because I just had surgery last week.  It was something that needed to be done and that I had put off for around 2 years.  Not life threatening, but definitely life improving.  I'd gone to the doctor and listened when he talked and thought about things and planned.  The Hubs offered to cook the entire week following surgery!  However, I don't think I really prepared.  In my mind, somehow, when the doc said that immediate recovery was 3-7 days,  I heard, life will be completely normal almost immediately.  I still don't know where the disconnect was.  

I made menus and plans as if I would be the picture of health the Monday following my Friday surgery.  Sure, the Hubs said he'd cook for a week, but surely I'd be well enough to go to church on Sunday and take over cooking by Tuesday.  I even had unprepared veggies in the fridge, but I didn't worry.  I'll just do those on Monday.  Uh, yeah.  It hasn't gone like that.  At.  All.

I went in on Friday.  Still pretty clueless, as I found out.  I went under and, other than a small problem with my breathing tube, things went well.  It took me quite some time to come out of the anesthesia.  Maybe this started me off?  Because you see I couldn't quite understand all the guidelines and care instructions that were being given.  The Hubs was there and he listened well and, you know, cared for me.  It still created a bit of panic in me because I wasn't in control.  Of anything.

The days that followed were bad.  Not horrible.  I was getting better, but it wasn't the 'springing back' that I had envisioned for myself.  I had thought that I'd basically bounce back with little to no recovery.  I don't know where these delusions came from, but I was (and am) quite obviously wrong.

It's one week past, and I'm still struggling.  I know that I'm getting better, but it is SOOO slow.  I still have pain and swelling and other things that aren't polite to talk about here.  I haven't been to church or cooked one single meal.  It's really, really discouraging.  

But today.  Today, I got the urge to write.  I wasn't sure what I wanted to write.  I figured I would talk about recovery and praise the Hubs, and my BFF who brought me a meal, and church friends who have been ferrying Chas to and from church.  Then I started thinking about my attitude and perspective.  And my... lack of faith.  I have been horrible.  Sincerely.

At the risk of making an already long post longer, I just have to praise Jesus.  Because my recovery is going well.  I am getting better.  Things are good.  It is hard, though.  And I have to be careful because I have to strike that delicate balance between too much and too little.  Just like most things in life.

I also have to remind myself of the times when it is okay to sit and bask in the love of Jesus and when it's time to move ahead and love others.  I have to learn to be a better patient, taking care of myself and letting others take care of me, and I have to learn when to push myself forward and work through the pain.

The Four Pillars of Health...

I have sat in my fair share of military briefs and classes.  And I freely admit that I haved listened more to the Hubs than whatever Colonel or Captain might be adressing us.  I can't help it.  One of the best things that he ever covered was health.  I know, weird, right?  Not really.  It has always stuck with me and 'rang true' to what I have always thought.

The Hubs explains it like this:  we all have four pillars of health: mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical.  This makes sense since there are many facets to our overall health and they rely on each other.  Obviously, his focus as a chaplain was to talk about the spiritual side, but you can't do that and negate the other three.  It also, just so happens (wink, wink), that these pillars coincide with our command to love God with our Mind (mental), Heart (emotional), Soul (spiritual), and Strength (physical).

I understand that I can be in peak physical health, but off emotionally or mentally and that will affect my overall health.  Or I can be incredibly spiritual, daily Bible readings, weekly studies, fellowship, etc., but if I am eating nothing but hamburgers and ice cream, I'm not going to be what I ought.  If I let my mind run rampant in thought, but I work out every day, I'm not acheiving what I need to.  You get what I'm saying, right?  I am a whole person and because of that I cannot neglect any of these pillars.  To be overall healthy, I have to make sure that all my pillars are strong and standing upright.

This is no easy task and one, or another, may lean from time to time, but the goal is to keep each from falling down.  I struggle with this.  I want to be healthy.  Overall and not just one pillar.  I want to be strengthened so that I can love God with all my mind, heart, soul, and strength.  And this may mean denying myself that brownie and getting up early to work out.  It may mean turning off that tv show and reading a book, but not that one, an edifying one.  :)  I may (definitely) need to work on taking my thoughts captive and not reacting emotionally.

I have struggled with this, an each pillar, for some time.  I believe the key to this is deliberate, intentional living.  So, often we are reactionary, living life by reacting to whatever is happening TO us at that moment.  I think we need to be proactive.  We need to live life and not just have life 'happen.'  I need to be proactive and live life.  I try and fail, but I can't let failure deter me.

I'm a planner, but not much of a doer.  I LOVE to plan.  This time, I have to follow through, even- no, especially when my plan falls apart.  I hope to do better with blogging so that I can show my successes (and failures) with all of this.

Liturgical Fail

So, it's been a while.  I'll go ahead and admit that part of this is shame.  Shame, I tell you!  You see, with all the greatest plans in the world in place, I completely failed Lent.  I'm not sure I 'gave' up or 'took' up any of the things I had on my mind.  I didn't help my son.  And even though there was so much fail, I knew it could be redeemed, but life just kept getting in the way.  I guess this probably happens pretty often when non-liturgicals try something new like this.  I just have no experience.  I hope I can learn from this year for next.  

It was the same with Holy Week.  I got sick.  My parents came for Palm Sunday.  We had friends over on Maundy Thursday.  It was just very hard to work anything out and I was totally unprepared.  We did have a fun Resurrection Day and I was able to fill our sacrifice jars (thanks to the Hubs and a late night run for M&M's).

I do feel bad about it, but I really am trying not to feel guilty (I was joking about the shame earlier).  I will only feel guilty if I give up and don't learn.  I'm really new to this whole liturgical year stuff.  I have to take what I learn this year and roll that over into next year and keep doing that.  

So, what's on the horizon?  Well, since I've kinda been picking and choosing from the Liturgical Year, next up for us is Ascension Day.  What will we be doing?  How will we celebrate?  I do not know, yet.  I need to get on that.  It's only three and a half weeks away!  :)

Until then, happy Cinco de Mayo!  I need to go get my groceries for my enchiladas.  Or tacos.  Or quesadillas.  Can we celebrate all week?

Faith, Hope, & Love...

"Now abideth these three Faith, Hope, and Love..."

So, what has been on my mind lately (other than the fact that I'm STILL failing at Lent?)? Well, mostly this verse. 

One of the things I struggle most with in my life is trust. I'm still not entirely sure why this is, but I'm working on it. It's not just in one area but ALL areas. So you can see where as this is major. To this end, I've been reading a book for a Bible Study that's all about Faith. 

I also just went on an amazing retreat that focused on Love. Both loving others and making sure we spend time soaking in the love of God. Needless to say, this has been monumental. 

Also, I went to a gathering (the week after the retreat) and heard a great speaker expound on the need for Biblical Hope rather than natural hope; a hope that is securely anchored in God rather than circumstance. 

Do you see a theme here? Cause I did. I still don't know exactly why God is moving these things to the forefront of my mind but I'm working on it. 

For some reason I also believe my 'word' for the year plays into it all, too. The word I was led to was Wisdom. 

I have tried to meditate on these a bit, especially since that was one of my things for Lent, but have I mentioned that I'm not doing great there? I have fallen into the same trap that so many do. I'm... busy. Gasp!

I know. Everyone is. I went from a 4-night revival to a Women's Retreat to drop Chas off at Poppy & Mimi's (4 hours away) to a Minister & Wives gathering then back to retrieve Chas (6 hours this time) then back home for one day of rest before babysitting one of the cutest babies EVER and also soon to have an amazing 5-year old for 3 days. So, yeah. Busy. 

As you can plainly see there's been NO time for ya know, Bible and prayer and stuff. Yeah, I know I'm kinda disgusted with myself too. 

So this week, even though it's already Tuesday, I plan to work harder to spend time with Jesus. I want to. It isn't even an 'I know I should.'  I genuinely desire to. I hope to seek True Wisdom and work on embracing and showing more Faith, Hope, & Love.  

The Best Laid Plans...

So, Stac, how's that whole "Lent" thing going?  I'm SO glad you asked! Not well.  Le sigh.  In my last post I laid out my grand plan for Lent, so of course everything went downhill from there. We had an ice/snow storm on Monday which hindered going to the store (Monday is grocery-getting day 'round here). And a major birthday cake malfunction led to quite an abbreviated lesson on Lent. Since I didn't have the groceries in place for our 'amazing Fat Tuesday Feast' the hubs and I decided to go out for dinner and feast that way. Only we had friends come over and stay longer than expected (I love having friends over so no one gets kicked out. Ever. We just 'alter' plans). Thus led to our feast happening at 9pm Tuesday night. Wednesday would've been great... Except that since there was still an abundance of snow and ice, church was canceled for the Hubs and I. Thursday and Friday went off the rails when one of the most fun and beautiful 8-month old baby girls came to play. I had agreed to watch her a while back but with all the snow and ice, this was my first time that week (um, did I mention how much the snow an ice messed EVERYTHING up?). I'd also gotten a major migraine that just further wrecked it all. 

So, now I'm tapping out this post on my phone while this precious girl sleeps on my shoulder. Chas is working 'diligently' on his math while the Hubs works on his car. 

But, Stac! That's well and good but those were just lessons. How's living out Lent going? Le Sigh. Again. 

Well... I'd really hoped to follow through with everything. So far, I think taking the farther parking space is about all I've accomplished.

- Exercise went well last week, until the migraine hit. 

- Going to bed and getting up was just shot ALL to pieces. That happens when you feast at 9pm! 

- The snooze button is my drug. 

- Eating simply is a bit of a cop out because we already do that. 

- Yeah, we had a birthday party on Saturday with a friend who seriously knows how to throw a party. No fasting there. 

- How do you measure being intentional? I'm not sure but I know I'm failing there, too. 

- Cash? Nope. 

- Meditation, fun school, blogging, letters, or giving bread? Nope, nope, nope, nope , and, uh, nope. 

And don't even get me started on our 'sacrifice jars.' They aren't even made. 

I'm consoling myself by saying it's only the second week, but, still I feel totally inadequate. Then again, isn't that the point of Lent? To remind us continually of our need for our Savior. If so, totally hitting Lent out of the park!

I did do two things 'okay' last week. Both food related of course. First, our vegetarian dish on Thursday:

It's a Lemon Ricotta pasta dish. I used spinach noodles and real spinach, too (you gotta get those veggies in). All in all, this dish was a success! Me and the boys liked it. 

And this is Friday's offering. Bourbon Glazed salmon with creamed chard and rice pilaf. Whereas the boys loved it, I was unsure. The pilaf was awesome, chard okay, and fish got a thumbs down. May try to tweak it for the future. 

Now, here's praying that I (and the boys)) will have much more success this week. :)

Liturgical Living for a Non-Liturgical...

So, I was so blessed by Advent that I really wanted to look more into the liturgical calendar this year.  I have slacked on a LOT, but with Lent being so close, I had to dust off the missal and look at a few things.  Here's a little of what's on my mind...

What is Lent?

Simply, it is a period of the liturgical year that leads into Holy Week and the celebration of Jesus' resurrection.  Lent is celebrated for the 40 days (minus Sundays) prior to  Resurrection Day, or Easter.  It is generally used to mimic the 40 days Jesus spent in the wilderness.

Why should we celebrate Lent?

Per my understanding, not being a strictly liturgical Christian, the liturgical calendar with all feasts and celebrations are designed to get our hearts closer to Jesus by remembering Him and His life.  Lent is a great way to remember what Jesus did in the wilderness, prayer and fasting, and how that resembled the Israelites 40 year journey through the wilderness.  Lent is also a great tool to prepare our hearts, minds, and bodies, both individually and corporately, for the celebration of Jesus' resurrection which is foundational to our faith.

How do we celebrate Lent?

In most traditions, Lent is celebrated with Prayer, Fasting, and Almsgiving, or any combination of these.  Most see Lent as a time to 'give up' or 'take up' a certain behavior.  This is certainly one way to celebrate.  When we 'give up' something, we are to use this as a tool to pray.  Every time you miss what you have given up, whether it's something mental or physical, you are reminded to pray.  This is a way in which prayer and fasting go hand in hand.  Almsgiving is often overlooked, but it is traditionally the giving to or helping of those less fortunate.

Currently, most Christians look for interpretations of fasting and almsgiving, meaning not literal fasting from food or giving of money to the poor.  So, you may hear of Christians giving up soda or sweets or volunteering at a soup kitchen or giving away unused household items or toys.  This is one of the reasons that Lent is a very personal liturgical celebration that plays out corporately.  The idea is that each person is sacrificing personally and drawing closer to Jesus to overcome their temptation which affects the corporate body of believers who are all celebrating this season.

Is it wrong for non-Catholics or non-liturgicals to celebrate Lent?

I don't think any Catholic or liturgical friends would beat you up for it.  And I don't think any of your true Christian brethren would either.  Most Catholic or liturgicals would probably enjoy the opportunity to share with you and some of your brethren might like to know more.  Ultimately you should discern for yourself what God would have you to do.  Remember, "All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful.  All things are lawful, but not all things build up.  Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor." (1 Cor 10:23-24 ESV)

What will celebrating Lent look like for me?

Generally it is accepted that people talk about 'how they celebrate Lent.'  You'll hear lots of people talking about 'what they're giving up or taking up for Lent.'  I think that's fine, but we need to try not to go overboard.  We are told in Matthew 6:16-18, "And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others.  Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.  But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret.  And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."  In other words, try not to complain or make yourself some sort of paragon of faith for what you're doing or giving up.  Just do it and do it well, heartily unto the Lord.

Now, having said all this, I'd like to give a general rundown of how I plan to celebrate Lent this year.  Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent and is on 5 March, this year.

3 March - (also the Hubs birthday) I plan to give a short lesson for Chas about what Lent is and common traditions, mostly the beginning of this, as well as, Scripture reading on the Temptation of Jesus in the wilderness.

4 March - Shrove Tuesday, or Mardi Gras, or Fat Tuesday.  Shrove comes from the word Shrive, which means confess.  This is the day before the sacrifice of Lent begins, which is the origin of Fat Tuesday and Mardi Gras.  It was a time of feasting before the fast.  I'll also give a lesson on this for school.  I'll also have a little 'feast' for dinner that night as well as a time of confession before we begin Lent.

5 March - Ash Wednesday.  Most who celebrate Lent go to special services and receive the mark of the cross in ash on their forehead.  I'm not sure we will make it to any services, but we may have our own (without ashes).  I really want to bring out the ideas of using ashes as a sign of mourning.

6 March -  Usually each individual picks out what they are doing before Lent begins and they are already doing it.  I have several ideas for myself (more on that later), but on this day I'll present Chas with my 'suggestion' as to what to do and let him brainstorm some ideas, too.  We'll make a list as well as a couple of index cards with verses to use to succeed.  After all, Jesus combatted his temptation in the wilderness with Scripture!

7 March - This will be a review day.  I'll try to reiterate why we are doing what we're doing and what it means.  I also really want Chas to make it his own without me forcing something on him.  I know he'll get more out of it that way.

8 March - I don't know how it'll go over with the fam, but I want to take my Saturdays as a true 'fast' day and Sabbath.  I'll have one meal, but that'll be it.  I don't know if I can succeed, but  I really want to at least try.  Hopefully it will be a way to prepare my heart for the worship services the next day.

9 March - This is the first Sunday of Lent.  As I said, Sundays are not included in Lent, so this may be used as a 'cheat' day depending on what Chas has chosen to do. We may also do the Scripture readings from the Lectionary (or on Monday).

After the first week, it'll be more low-key until Holy Week (I hope to make a separate post about how we'll celebrate that later.)  Here are a few things that I'll be trying to do:

- More exercise, not taking the closest parking spot

- Going to bed and waking up at set times

- Not hitting the snooze button (more than one time) :)

- Eat more simply

- Weekly 'fast' on Saturday (only one meal)

- Be more intentional (including a reinstating of THE Schedule)

- Use cash only, no debit card unless absolutely necessary (and a milkshake isn't necessary)

- Practice more meditation on God's Word, not just prayer, reading, and study

- Do one 'fun' activity for school a week

- Blog more, at least weekly (this is for me, since I'm pretty sure no one actually reads it)

- Write one letter or card to a friend a week

- Give my 'extra' loaf of bread away (and baking it more regularly)

I saw a really neat idea that I plan to implement (Here's the original post ).  It's called a 'Sacrifice Jar.'  Each of us (The Hubs, Chas, & I) will have a jar and every time we succeed at a task (No snooze! No complaining! One letter sent!) or when we've been tempted and called on Jesus to overcome, we'll place one 'seed' (in my case it'll be a black-eyed pea) in the jar.  It's a visual representation of accomplishment, but it serves another purpose.  On Resurrection Day Eve, I'll replace the peas with M&M's or another treat.  And to show grace, the number of treats won't be based on the number of peas but will be overflowing from the jar.  We don't do Easter, or the Easter bunny, or Easter baskets, so treats are lacking that morning anyway.  I don't feel guilty about that, but I just love this illustration of God's grace.  It doesn't matter how much you've failed or succeeded, your cup can still run over because He is Risen!!

So, there are my lofty, lofty goals.  I'm sure I'll succeed at some and fail miserably at others.  That's life, right?  However, I can't let the fear of failure keep me from trying.