January Book Report: Searching for Sunday

Rachel Held Evans is divisive.  She’s a blogger and writer.  And she’s made a career out of doubting her faith, asking tough questions, and writing about them.  It’s a nice gig, if you can get it.

To date, I’ve read two of her books.  This doesn’t mean I’m a fan of hers or that I agree with her positions.  I do agree that she’s bold enough to speak her mind and not shy away from admitting that she doubts and has questions.  Just like the rest of us.

In Searching for Sunday, Evans uses a beautiful literary device transposing the traditional sacraments of the Church with her own struggles and journey of faith.  While discussing Baptism, Confession, Holy Orders, Communion, Confirmation, Anointing the Sick, and Marriage, she navigates the journey she’s been on for the past several years.

Her story isn’t new and it isn’t revelatory, but it is necessary.  I don’t always agree with her conclusions and I rarely agree with her theology, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy this book.  Like with most of her writing, you don’t have to agree with where she ends up, you just have to understand the journey.

And I do.

I often struggle with doubt.  Mine may not be in the same ways or on the same scale as Evans, but that doesn’t mean I can’t relate.  In addition to the beauty of her writing, Evans is a master of bringing forth conversations that need to be had, sometimes unapologetic and sometimes overly apologetic.

Evans writes what she knows and this book is no different.  It is largely personal and covers what she’s gone through over the past several years struggling with Evangelicalism, a foray into the Emergent, and landing in a small Episcopalian church.  It deals largely with her hurts and her pains and how God has healed and helped her, as well as the areas where she’s still hurting.

In the end, even though I enjoyed this book, I don’t know that I would recommend this book to just the average reader or faith doubter.  You have to be on a certain foundation, I think, to get the most out of Ms. Evans’ writing.  However, for those who have the basics down, but still question would be as enamored with this book as I was.

Mental Wholeness...

Like the Westminster Catechism, I believe that the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.  However, to do this, I think we have to be holy, healthy, and whole.  We have 4 “pillars” of health:  mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical.  I believe that these correspond to Jesus’ command for us to love God with all our mind (mental), heart (emotional), soul (spiritual), and strength (physical), in Luke 10:27.

To this end, I strive to health and wholeness in each area.  Mental is one that is both easy and difficult to maintain.  There are a million apps and games out there that help with memory and cognition.  However, I’m not sure that just that is all you need for brain health.  I’ve used Brain Age and Luminosity and a couple others and they work well, but I think you need a bit more.

There is a creative and imaginative aspect to mental health, too.  I’m not much of a crafter, but I do like to think of myself as a big of a creative soul.  I’ve just gotten into the grown up coloring books that are all the rage now days.  I’ve also started Bible Journaling.

Scripture memorization is also a wonderful tactic.  You get the benefit of stretching your mental muscles with memorization and you also get the added bonus of having a wealth of scripture at your mental disposal.

These are all well and good and wonderful tools to use.  But the most fun tool for building mental health and wholeness?  Reading!  I love to read, so this may not be the same for everyone.  I like to read broadly, but I will say that my focus lately has been nonfiction and theology.  I’m trying to mix it up a bit this year with my 2016 reading list.

My usual goal is reading two books a month, but I’ll admit that I’m a bit behind schedule this month.  I’ve already finished one book and have two more started that I’m reading concurrently.  I’ve not made the time to read in the past couple weeks, but I hope to get back in the routine.

Check back in on Wednesday for my first monthly “Book Report” on the book I’ve completed.

Five Friday Favorites: Experiences

We’ve always been a family that values experiences over things.  We love traveling, seeing new places, and eating at fun restaurants.  Each year for his birthday, we gave our son an experience rather than a gift.  As he got older, he got to choose between a gift or an experience.

I’m not sure what it is about doing something rather than getting something that is so special.  But even in my own childhood, I tend to remember moments more than things.  So with that in mind, I decided to make a Friday list of 5 New Experiences for 2016.  These are either things I’ve already experienced, or I’m looking forward to this year.

1.)  Our Home – Lord willing, 2016 will be the year that we move into the first house we’ve ever owned.  Buying a home was a new experience for sure.  It will be even sweeter once we are able to finish renovations and actually live in the house that we bought.

2.)  Gardening – Along with the new house comes our homestead.  I’m quite lacking a green thumb.  I can’t keep houseplants alive.  However, I really feel strongly about eating well and I love the idea of eating locally, seasonally, and sustainably and it doesn’t get much better than growing your own food.  So now it’s just a matter of, you know, doing it.  Definitely a brand new experience!

3.) Chickens! – Keeping in line with what I’ve already listed, we are also hoping to have our coop & brooder house up and running.  This means that I won’t have to travel to Kentucky for my fresh eggs or pay an arm and a leg for chicken.  Blessedly, my husband knows all about this and all I have to do is cook.

4.) Making my Own Health & Beauty Products - This time last week, we were pretty deep into some snow.  I've lived in New England so I know how this normally goes.  But it was quite different to be experiencing it in Middle Tennessee.  One fun thing that came out of it was that a friend & I spent the afternoon making homemade, all-natural toothpaste, mouthwash, and deodorant.  It was so fun and easy and a great way to spend the afternoon while the kids played out in the snow.

5.)  Asking for Help – Now, this isn’t specifically new to 2016 or even 2015.  However, this is something that I continually struggle with and each time I have to ask for help it’s like a new experience.  I’ve never been one to ask much for help.  It’s been quite a learning curve.  But here I sit, at a friend’s house while they let us stay with them during the tough weather.  Two years ago, this wouldn’t have happened.  I would have done everything I could have to keep from having to ask for help in any way.  It’s amazing how much you can grow once you admit that you aren’t nearly as self-sufficient as you pretend to be.

What are some of your new experiences that are coming up this year?

Five Friday Favorites: Boundaries

Boundaries are difficult.  There are volumes written about boundaries.  It is spoken about frequently .  Boundaries are also very necessary.  Sometimes they can make us feel fenced in and almost claustrophobic.  Other times, they are stretched so thin, that we may wonder if they are even there at all.  I think that they key for boundaries is to make sure that you are fencing the right things in and keeping the right things out.

Here are some of the boundaries that I’ve had to set up in my life.

1.  Family.  Perhaps this is on everyone’s list?  I know that my extended family loves me and I know that they want what’s best for me.  However, not every way in which they show it is the healthiest.  I have to make sure that I have set up the proper boundaries around my immediate family and that I’m not allowing the “care” that my extended family shows to breach that.  It shows my husband respect and allows us to do what is truly best for us.

2.  My spouse.  I have to be very intentional with this one and keep proper perspective.  With just the three of us, it is easy for familiarity to creep in.  We are a close, tight-knit family and I am so very thankful for that.  But I have to remember to show that just because we are all close, we are not all on equal footing.  This is especially tough with having a teen in the house.

3.  Friends/Ministry.  I had to learn early on that just because something is good to do doesn’t mean that you should do it.  I am a reformed people pleaser.  I hate to say no or disappoint anyone.  I want to serve and help and love.  However, I had to learn that sometimes saying no is the better option and will actually help and love more than saying yes would have.

4.  Self-care.  I just learned a little more about this one and shared how vital it is.  You have to ensure that you are taking care of your whole self as much as possible before you can begin to serve others. Proper mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual care is key.   Even the flight attendants tell you to secure your own mask before helping someone else with theirs.

5.  God.  This one is unique.  Because rather than creating boundaries that keep something in or something else out, I’m learning to tear down the boundaries that I put around my God.  Rather than boxing Him in and thinking that He can only help with this, or that He’s only interested in that, I’m figuring out that He wants to be there for ALL of it.  I don’t have to put boundaries around Him or keep Him from things or out of things.  Rather, when I allow Him into everything, no matter how big or small, it automatically makes that thing better, sweeter, lovelier. 

What are some of your boundaries?  Or how are you learning to employ them better?

This post is part of a linkup with mrsdisciple.com.  Go here to check out even more on boundaries.

Making the Most of your Margins

Last week was insane.  I wasn’t quite sure why, but it was.  People were crazy.  My family was crazy.  I started to feel a little crazy myself. 

I only work part time which under normal circumstances means that I work 4-5 hours a day, 4 days a week.  Last week I worked 5 days and worked between 5-6 hours each day.  Encountering all the crazy people.  By Saturday (my first day off), I was beat.  Physically and mentally. 

I came to realized that with those few extra hours at work, everything had been thrown off, just a bit, but it was an important bit.  I wasn’t able to grocery shop for the whole week (poor planning on my part), so I was more apt to run and buy a couple things after work.  This pushed getting home even later. 

Once I got home, I had to do the normal tasks:  straighten up, do the dishes, cook dinner.  Yet, after working and running errands, I didn’t really feel like it.  Things piled up and we’d eat soup or sandwiches.  Nothing too strenuous.  I’d spend a little bit of time with Chas, and then NGD and I would watch an episode of Fringe (I was too tired by this point to watch more).  Then bed and repeat.

Add in the norm, (church, homeschooling, returning library books, etc.) and a couple of extra things in the week (going to a farm to learn the ropes on getting the milk for my milk group, NGD going to bible study with a friend, going over to our friends’ for Survivor night), and the week was just so full, it was busting at the seams.

I know that for most, this is the norm.  Most people are in a constant state of motion, running from one thing to the next.  Rushing one child to sports practice, picking another up from piano lessons, and then trying to make time for their spouse, all while trying to stay on top of work, chores, bills, and basic necessities.  And it’s hard. 

That’s one of the reasons that NGD & I work so diligently to plan ahead and intentionally try to create margins in our days and weeks.  Planning and prep really are the golden key.  I’m a visual person, so I invested in a calendar so I can see those margins.  It creates a calmness and peace to know that they are there and that I can take advantage of them without guilt.

Because without those margins this week, I wasn’t just affected by the craziness of others, I was part of it.  Saturday morning, I told my husband that I had realized that I had made little to no time that week to read, or write, or color.  I had journaled a bit on Wednesday, and even though it was really only about 10 minutes, it had calmed a raging headache and got me through the rest of the evening.

Women usually get a bad rap on this.  We tend not to practice self-care.  We spend so much time taking care of others that we minimize our own needs.  We think that this will strengthen us, yet it actually does the opposite.  When we take the time to take care of ourselves, we realize how much better we can take care of others.  It doesn’t have to be a spa day every week; it can just be a few hours doing something that recharges us.

Some of the ways that I recharge are by knitting, drawing, creating in some way, reading a book, researching holistic topics, watching a movie (by myself), or having a conversation with my husband/best friend about what’s going on with me.  There are many different things that will work.  It’s just about finding the right way for you and actually making the time to do it.  It is amazing what the results will show.

So, how do you recharge or practice self-care?

On Being a Grown-Up

I’m not sure when it happened.  And to be honest, on some days, I wonder if it actually has happened.  But then I get a bill , my son needs fed, or I have to go to work and then I realize that, Yes, I am actually a grown up human being.

Yet, there are a several good things about being a grown up.  For instance, last night we were invited over to our friends’ house.  They are a lovely couple roughly the same age as us with two beautiful children.  We try to get together at least once a month, sometimes more.  R makes a beautiful meal, or we order Papa Murphy’s with some strange concoction that he assures us tastes great, and it usually does.

Then, L makes dessert and coffee, their littles go to bed, and we watch Survivor (or a movie, if it’s not on).  We giggle like children and the inane babble, poor gameplay, and random tomfoolery.  We guess what’s going to happen next and armchair quarterback.  We make jokes and laugh so hard that R has to pause the TV.  Several seasons of this tradition and there are still jokes that are made on a regular basis.  Perhaps we aren’t as grown-up as we think.

We have another couple, just a few years younger than us, that we get together with, too.  It runs about the same.  We go over. A makes a delicious meal. We do laundry.  The littles go to bed.  Then NGD and M start with the theological debates or random discussions and before you know it, its 3am, I’m contemplating the Doctrines of Grace, and Chas is asking if we can go home so he can go to bed.  (I may have forgotten to mention that M is our pastor now)

Just before Christmas, we got together with new friends.  Well, somewhat new.  NGD and AC had been friends for a while and I knew his wife, but we’d never really hung out before.  She made a great meal and we spent the entire night (all their littles and Chas were absent) laughing, sharing, and figuring out the mysteries of the universe.  It was a great night and I really hope that we’re able to do it again soon.

I never thought that I’d be the type of adult who has other adult friends that you get together with on a regular basis.  My parents never really had friends when I was growing up.  They worked too much (now that they are retired, they are ALWAYS out with their friends).  Not to mention being in the military doesn’t exactly lend itself well to that sort of thing. 

However, here I am.  I have friends.  I have community.  I have people that I can call if the truck breaks down or if I need a place to do laundry.  I am an adult and I kind of like it.

August Books?

Anyone who has followed be for very long, knows my love of books.  And lists.  So it totally makes sense for me to make a list of books that I want to read for the year, right?  So I did.  And I did really well, for a few months.  But I am so sad to say that I have pretty much abandoned my list.

I've still been reading some, but I haven't followed much of my list for several months.  I've actually had several books cross my path that I had to read, such as For The Love by Jen Hatmaker.  But I've also had a couple cross my path that I just needed to read, like Kevin Yancey's What's so Amazing About Grace?  Both were amazing and I would highly recommend them.

Last month I came across The Hole in Our Holiness by Kevin DeYoung.  I started it immediately.  I am just beginning it (and haven't made enough time for it), but I love it.  I think I am on quite a personal journey exploring righteousness, holiness, and grace and the inner-working of all those things together.

Even with my major deviation from my list, I'm not chucking it out just yet.  Perhaps I'll return to it at some point this year.  I'm not ready to call it a failure, just yet.  I have to remember that the point of my list is to keep me reading.  My goal was 24 books this year.  This doesn't seem overly ambitious to me.  I have friends that will read double that by year end.  I just want to make sure that I am continuing to feed my mind and being challenged.

So, what are you reading?  What has caught your eye this year?

March Books...

Um, so my reviews for March books aren't looking so good.  I think I have finally given up on fiction books (for the most part - I did download the entire Father Brown collection).  And I did start Orthodoxy and I'm loving it!  However, I think I dug myself a little deep in March.  

I was picked for Jen Hatmaker's For the Love book launch team (yay!) and began reading that book.  There was a bit of a deadline since we were asked to submit an endorsement for the book by 20 April, plus I just really wanted to finish the book!  I'm sure I'll have LOTS more to say about this book coming up, but for now I'll leave it here:

Now, I did finish Ms. Hatmakers book.  But then I also picked up a copy of Phillip Yancey's What's So Amazing About Grace?  And it is AMAZING!  I couldn't put it down.  Until I had to (laundry, dishes, cleaning house, and a family that thinks they need to eat EVERY DAY!).  Then a book I had on order at the library came in, The Fringe Hours by Jessica N. Turner.  Another great book!  And since it is on loan for the library, I thought, "Oh, I should finish this first, right?"  THEN, I got a copy of a book on Faith to read for our Ladies Day at church in July.  It's a quick read, so I should just go ahead and start that, too, right?  (Oh, and I may not have mentioned that I am currently teaching a women's bible study at church every other Wednesday, participating in a bible study on Hebrews every Thursday, and leading a different bible study with a different group of ladies once a month).

So, this is how I find myself reading 4 books (and 3 bible studies) in April and not managing as well as I had hoped (I'll have more to share on THAT big news later).  My yearly book list is all but discarded and I've added another 9 books (or so) to my list of books to read - an every growing list.  Long story short, I'm kind of failing at this right now.

But here's my plan for now:  I'm going to finish The Fringe Hours (because it is a library book, after all) and work on the Faith book (it really is a quick read).  Then I"m going to tackle What's So Amazing About Grace? and then try to finish Orthodoxy.  I may keep reading Orthodoxy here and there because the Hubs has taken to me reading it out loud and that's just fun.

So, now, at the end of April, I have finally posted about the books I've (tried to) read in March and no actual reviews.  Hopefully I will have more to share in May, along with the big news.

February Books...

Well, this blog has been a little harder to maintain right now with current circumstances in my life.  However, I did get to finish my February books.  Well, kind of.

I devoured Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker.  I also read one of the Sherlock Holmes stories, A Scandal in Bohemia.  But I did not read any of The Making of an Ordinary Saint (Fasting).  So, 2-ish out of 3 ain't bad? (I don't know if I can count just reading one Sherlock Holmes story).

I thoroughly enjoyed Sherlock, but that isn't surprising.  I love the tv shows/movies and detective novels in general.  I really wanted to start at the beginning, but I just couldn't wait to read about Ms. Adler.  I also read a fair amount of the history of publishing the Holmes stories (because I'm a nerd like that).  

As for Mrs. Hatmakers' book.  Yes!  That's about all I can say.  I would love to delve into the nuances and all, but just read it.  It's all about Kingdom living.  And that is awesome.  It's a bit fluffy and 'you go, girl,' but not so much so that it is hard to read.  I don't agree with all of her theology and doctrine (do I agree with ALL of anyone's?), but she gets it.  It's all about God and all about love and the messages that she writes are ones that need to be heard, read, and taught by individuals and in churches all around.  Seriously, you need to read it.

Sorry for the short updates and basic lack of activity.  I've been super busy filling a knitting order and just general life "stuff."  I am happy to report that I have read my missing discipline for February - fasting - as well as March's discipline - study - already.  And I've begun reading G.K. Chesterton's Orthodoxy.  I may not get to my fiction book this month because I have several gardening books that I want to look at and try to plan and see if this is something that might happen this year (and I will SO blog about that!)

And hopefully, I will get back in the swing of things and start blogging again (even though, I currently have no readers).  As someone once told me, it's good for the soul.  :)

January Book Reviews...

I did it!  Four days late, but I finally finished my first reading goal of the year.  My books for January were Has Christianity Failed You? by Ravi Zacharias, Emma by Jane Austen, and Chapter One, Submission of The Making of an Ordinary Saint by Nathan Foster.

I hate to say it, but I never even cracked the cover of Emma.  Well, I don't hate it that much because, well, it was supposed to be my "fun" book.  A kind of place to relax and enjoy.  So, it wasn't a high priority durinng my busy January.  So, no I see it as more of a "no harm, no foul" type of situation and I'm not going to get too spun up about it.  If it works out then I may try to work it in some point in the future.  (I really will read a Jane Austen book someday - and just starting Mansfield Park doesn't count)

I did read the first chapter of The Making of an Ordinary Saint.  I wrote a little about that already and I hope to write more about my journey (and failure) of practicing the discipline of Submission during the month of January.  The good part about that is that the disciplines should build and support one another, so even though, I may not have just had abudant success in January, I can (and will) keep working on it for Febuary along with my new discipline.

Now, for the main event.  I finally finished Has Christianity Failed You?  That sounds much worse than I actually feel.  It just seemed to take forever.  I'm sure this says more about me than about the book.  Even though I listen to Mr. Zacharias' sermons and debates weekly, this is the first book of his that I have read.  I must say that it reads much like you would expect if you are familiar with his style.  This is to say, that if you would rather speak on the "vicissitude" of life, then this book is for you (yes, I did have to look this word, and many others, up).

That is to say that this is very wordy and academic.  This is NOT a bad thig.  Reading scholarly works is needed.  However, I do think that there are times when the author is wordy or academic needlessly.  I don't think it is out of any malintent, but rather a byproduct of his background and apologetics.  For the most part, he debates and speaks to very learned people, so this is how he writes.  I think it probaly lends itself well to many of his other works, but if this was to to accessable to the masses who are questioning Christianity, it may have needed an adjustment.

That is the more of the style of the writing, but what of the substance?  Well, it's good.  Even though I knew where he was heading, it was still a pleasure to see how he got there.  As with many who are skilled in debate, I think some of the arguments were made out of rhetoric rather than to answer the actual question posed.  In the end, though, I think he tacked the heart of the problem behind this question well.

Short Notes:

Did I enjoy this book?  Meh.  It was good and stretched my brain, but I found it intimidating and tedious.

Did I learn anything from this book?  Yes!  Can you read anything by Ravi Zacharias and not learn something?  I tthink not.  It is not an apologetic, but it does help alter the way you look at God, people, and the church.

Would I recommend this book to others?  Probably not.  It would really depend on the situation.  I believe that you could probably read the last chapter and glean most of what this book has to offer.

The Four Pillars of Health...

I have sat in my fair share of military briefs and classes.  And I freely admit that I haved listened more to the Hubs than whatever Colonel or Captain might be adressing us.  I can't help it.  One of the best things that he ever covered was health.  I know, weird, right?  Not really.  It has always stuck with me and 'rang true' to what I have always thought.

The Hubs explains it like this:  we all have four pillars of health: mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical.  This makes sense since there are many facets to our overall health and they rely on each other.  Obviously, his focus as a chaplain was to talk about the spiritual side, but you can't do that and negate the other three.  It also, just so happens (wink, wink), that these pillars coincide with our command to love God with our Mind (mental), Heart (emotional), Soul (spiritual), and Strength (physical).

I understand that I can be in peak physical health, but off emotionally or mentally and that will affect my overall health.  Or I can be incredibly spiritual, daily Bible readings, weekly studies, fellowship, etc., but if I am eating nothing but hamburgers and ice cream, I'm not going to be what I ought.  If I let my mind run rampant in thought, but I work out every day, I'm not acheiving what I need to.  You get what I'm saying, right?  I am a whole person and because of that I cannot neglect any of these pillars.  To be overall healthy, I have to make sure that all my pillars are strong and standing upright.

This is no easy task and one, or another, may lean from time to time, but the goal is to keep each from falling down.  I struggle with this.  I want to be healthy.  Overall and not just one pillar.  I want to be strengthened so that I can love God with all my mind, heart, soul, and strength.  And this may mean denying myself that brownie and getting up early to work out.  It may mean turning off that tv show and reading a book, but not that one, an edifying one.  :)  I may (definitely) need to work on taking my thoughts captive and not reacting emotionally.

I have struggled with this, an each pillar, for some time.  I believe the key to this is deliberate, intentional living.  So, often we are reactionary, living life by reacting to whatever is happening TO us at that moment.  I think we need to be proactive.  We need to live life and not just have life 'happen.'  I need to be proactive and live life.  I try and fail, but I can't let failure deter me.

I'm a planner, but not much of a doer.  I LOVE to plan.  This time, I have to follow through, even- no, especially when my plan falls apart.  I hope to do better with blogging so that I can show my successes (and failures) with all of this.