Status Report: October

Well, it has been a good while since I reported anything about the house.  I have to say that it is a little intentional.  It’s been a hard summer.  Chas and I spent the majority of it with family and friends, while Nathan worked on the house.

He got a lot done, of course, without, uh, distractions (ie, me & Chas).  However, we’ve been back together for a while and as you would expect, progress has slowed.  Life keeps getting in the way, the yard needs mowed, the camper (where we are currently staying) needs to be worked on, friends invite us over, the yard needs mowed again!

That isn’t to say that nothing is getting done.  I’m happy to report that we are almost done with deconstruction.  It seems like I’ve been saying that for a few weeks now, but it’s really true.  All the drywall has been removed and now Nathan just has to clear out the living room and rip up the floor.

Then the good part begins:  CONSTRUCTION! (after a visit from the Orkin man – my personal hero)

I’ve been assured by many that this part will go much quicker.  I hope so because deconstruction has almost broken me.  I knew this was going to be a LONG term project.  It is a marathon and not a sprint, but considering I have trouble with a 5K, I’m a bit impatient. 

Every time we push back a deadline or something gets in the way, I want to scream and stomp and throw a tantrum that would make your threenager look like an angel straight from heaven.  I have to stop myself and realize that this is just a season.  Each time I am convinced that we will live in a 30-ft camper for the rest of our lives and I have to renew my mind.

Right now, we are hoping to winter over in the camper.  The roof will hopefully be done by winter and we will actually move into our house in spring.  If all goes to plan, we may actually be done by our projected date of 31 Dec 2016.  This is our plan, our hope, and our prayer.

As for right now, I’m trying to lean into the discomfort.  I am trying to realize that things could be worse.  I’m trying to remember that the suffering makes the joy that much sweeter.  And above all, I’m trying to do all of it to His glory, since that is what it’s all about anyway.

Out of Sorts by Sarah Bessey

What an amazing way to begin a book that is essentially the faith journey of author Sarah Bessey!  I have to admit that I was hooked from the beginning; an intro that perfectly sums up my current stage of life and Christian maturity.

The style of writing of Sarah Bessey has a quality to it that almost seems sculpted and poetic.  The pictures that she paints with her verbiage are as beautiful as the concepts that she is explaining.  This book is no different.  I found myself often staggered by the images that she used.  In a word, it was beautiful.

However, this is not a book of mere beauty and no substance.  Each chapter has a unique title and subject that could probably stand alone but when gathered together in this way, they absolutely shine.  While articulating beliefs (both her own and others) on various aspects of the Christian life, Sarah Bessey invites readers on her journey while encouraging them to embark on their own.

“I wanted to follow Jesus: not a way of thinking or a doctrine, not a sermon or a list of rules, not political affiliations and church denominations or a path to a shiny-happy life or anything like that.  I wanted to follow him and love him, right to the end, wherever he led.”

- Chapter 2, Out of Sorts

While I cannot claim to agree with everything she has articulated in this book, I feel that that in and of itself is okay.  Ms. Bessey gives the reader permission to disagree and figure it out on their own while still challenging you to seek the hard things and not shy away just because it is hard or sad or unpopular. 

“What I thought I knew or what I thought I believed turned out to be seeing through a glass darkly.  Even now, I am fairly certain I only have a small candle to aid my vision.”

- Chapter 4, Out of Sorts

Sarah herself proclaims that she doesn’t quite have it all figured out (not anymore #recoveringknowitall) and that what she does have figured out may change as she grows and matures.  That is the central lesson of the book, in my view.  We are constantly sorting; continuously going through the boxes of our faith and throwing out the old to make room for the new.  If we aren’t living a life of faith that is growing, maturing, and living, then we aren’t really living a life of faith.

“Anyone who gets to the end of their life with the exact same beliefs and opinions as they had at the beginning is doing it wrong.”

  - Chapter 5, Out of Sorts

We can’t take someone else’s word for matters as important as these.  They are ours to wrestle with and figure out, to store and to give away.  That is what Sarah Bessey does in this book.  From issues ranging the gambit from Jesus to Community to Grief, she takes a hard look at the ideas that permeate our current Christian climate and then looks at them from a Biblical and historic view.  Even though, the book is written from her unique perspective,  it is quite easy to plug in your own sorting.

“Who do you say he is?  And not the proper Sunday-school answer, not the lists of attributes or the memorized Bible verses – not here, not in this place.  When we are sorting through our very core self, this isn’t the time for the mask of right answers.  This is the time for the honesty.  In your heart of hearts, in your raw place of grief and suffering, in your rich center of love and redemption, who do you say God is?  There, in that place, who is he to you now?”

- Chapter 10, Out of Sorts

Above all else, there is a value on Truth and honesty and a call for us to clear out the attic space of our own faith and to not be scared of what we might find.  There may be things that absolutely need to be tossed, but there may also be things of beauty that need to be restored.  We must be honest and claim each item no matter where it came from or when we received it.  There is beauty in that as well, because it is all a part of us.  It is all part of our journey.  However, we cannot simply hold on to things due to sentimentality.  We have to make the hard choices in this sorting process.  And whichever it is, it is up to us to begin this process and to be led by the Holy Spirit into all Truth.  And sorting.

“I know you feel a bit out of sorts.  We all do sometimes.  It’s okay.  Don’t be afraid.”

- Benediction, Out of Sorts

Friday Favorites

5 Good Things about Living in a Camper

It’s been a while since I wrote a Friday Five/Friday Favorites (Life, man!), so I thought I’d couple a few things together with this entry.  Whenever our son is being especially negative, I make him stop and list 3 positive things.  If he’s negative about a situation, he has to list 3 things that he’s thankful for.  If he’s negative about a person, he has to list 3 positive things about that person.  You get the idea.

Well, lately I have been VERY negative about a lot.  Including, but not limited to, our living situation.  Specifically the wonderful, blessed camper that we are living in (it was loaned to us free of charge by a friend for as long as we need – blessed!).  So, I figured that I would list 5 positives for living in this transient way.

1. A smaller home means a smaller area to clean.  Seriously, it takes about 2 minutes to “clean up” the kitchen.  Smaller counter space means less to wipe down.  Not to mention that there’s only one spot of carpet that I have to worry about!  Less cleaning makes me a happy camper!  (Haha! See what I did thar?)

2. No rent.  A lot of people have questioned why we’d move out of a perfectly nice apartment before the house was done.  Well, it makes no sense to me why we’d continue to pay to rent an apartment when we have a home.  Less money out means more money to go to the renovation.

3. Transient lifestyle.  This one is a bit harder to define, especially if you’ve never lived this kind of crazy life.  Whereas the nomadic/transient life can cause a fair amount of stress, there’s also something really freeing about just living.  So there’s really no place to store my yarn so it just sits in the floor?  Okay.  Chas sleeps on the pullout, so he has to keep all his stuff piled neatly in the living area?  No problem.  Once you realize that you can’t completely organize/control this situation into submission, there’s a bit of freedom.

4. You think more about what you buy (groceries).  I love food and I love to cook and I also love to grocery shop.  I love the colors and the fresh produce.  I like talking to the butcher and finding out new things and recipes.  It’s just fun.  However, with limited pantry and refrigerator space and limited cooking tools, I have to think more conservatively before I buy.

5. Our homestead.  If we were still renting a place, I wouldn’t get the opportunity to live out here on our land.  And it is beautiful!  I really do love it.  It’s quiet and peaceful.  It’s so amazing to watch the sun set over the rolling, green hills.  It’s pretty cool to walk over and grab a chestnut off the tree and crack it and eat it.  It’s even fun to watch the squirrels and birds and, even, the wooly aphids roam about.  I can’t imagine being anywhere else.  Especially today as I drove home from town and saw the leaves changing and the sun setting.  

For the Love... of a Launch Team

It’s been just over a week since I went to Austin, TX.  I have been through there several times, but I’d never really stopped.  But this visit wasn’t just to sightsee.  I traveled from Nashville, TN to Austin, TX for a party.  But this wasn’t just any party.  It was a book launch party for Jen Hatmaker’s For The Love. 

Jen Hatmaker is the author of 11 books

                                    

However, this journey didn’t really start a week ago.  No, it actually started last March.  I had finished Jen’s book Interrupted and started to follow her on Facebook and Twitter.  That’s when I saw her post about applying to join her Launch Team.  I’d applied for a couple teams before but never got on.  I figured I’d go ahead and apply.  After all, Interrupted had been amazing.

Then another amazing thing happened.  I was picked.  I didn’t find out until later that 5000 people applied and only 500 were chosen.  I was part of this group.  I received an advanced digital copy of the book and later a hard copy advanced book.  I also joined a private Facebook group, a community. 

Launch Team love because who doesn't love swag.

                                     

Of course in March, I didn’t know that.  I really didn’t understand much about it at all.  It started small.  Most people posted about the book, parts they liked, quotes, etc.  Then a few started posting about their life, funny stories about their children, pictures, etc.  Before long, people started sharing prayer requests, life stories, and struggles.

In the months that followed we became friends and prayer warriors.  This little group of women (and 4 men) became a community.  They knit together to lift members up in prayer and also we started to gather in small groups all over the country.  People lived out the gospel, as well as the central message of the book we were launching:  Grace. 

When a sister posted about a need, there was response.  Those who could give, gave.  Those who couldn’t be there physically prayed.  Groceries were given.  Refuge was given.  Travel to the launch party was given.  A car was given.  And that is just the physical stuff.  Support was given for those who were having difficulty in marriages, difficulty in raising children, taking care of parents, ministry needs.  Friends were made who’d never met in real life.

It was a safe place for people who were searching, for people who’d been hurt, for people who needed a safe place.

Then a week ago, over 200+ of these women converged on Austin, TX.  I was a scholarship kid.  I didn’t have an FTLBFF (For The Love Best Friend Forever).  I really didn’t know what to expect.  I was flying to Austin alone, in a shirt emblazoned with the book title, in hopes of running into some of my FTL sisters in the airport.  And I did.

All alone at the Austin airport, waiting on my FTL sisters.

                                 

I also made some really great friendships over the course of the weekend.  I was challenged to get out of my comfort zone and I was able to introvert a little, too.  Sure, we did some sightseeing and some shopping.  We even went to the main event, the party at Jen Hatmaker’s house!  And we did church together on Sunday. But those things seem small in comparison to what really happened over the weekend.  Our community, which had largely been online, met.  We came together.  We hugged.  We loved.

Just a few of the beautiful women I was blessed to spend time with.

                                         

Faces I recognized and those that I didn’t came together with stories that’d been shared over the course of several months.  I was able to hug and talk to those who I’d been praying for and hear about continued requests and answered prayers.

I didn’t engage a lot (#ambivertproblems), but I observed a lot.  I still want to cry when I think about it, when I think about the things that were shared during that weekend, barbeque and donuts, tears and laughs, fears and joys, bread and wine, love and grace.

Just a few of the ladies (seriously).

                               

I still struggle with putting it all into words.  A week later and I still don’t think I’ve processed what all it means and how it has affected me, even as I’m awakened by texts from my new FTLBFF’s and praying for my FTL sisters. 

Food + Great ladies = An amazing time.

                                   

And if I can’t completely comprehend what has happened here in this place, I don’t know how to share it with others.  Other than showing them.  Loving them.  Giving grace as freely as it has been given to me.

                                   

Meeting Jen was great.  She was the one that brought us together.
But in the end, this was just a small part of an amazing time.

                               

Why Wednesday? Homeschool

Why We Homeschool?

Now, here’s a topic for discussion, right?  There are so many opinions on schooling.  I know that this is a hot topic, so please bear with me.  This may be long and you may not agree.  I am fully aware that how and where you school your child is a personal choice (even how each homeschooler schools is a debate and a topic for another day).  I merely want to try to explain why we do what we do.

When Chas turned 5, we were living in Springfield, MO.  Since his birthday was in April, I knew he’d be starting school that following September.  I started looking at the school he’d be attending and I couldn’t believe that such a milestone was already upon us.  There was no question in my mind about where or how he would be schooled.

So one day, when the Hubs came home, I started talking to him and telling him about all that we needed to do in the coming months to get him ready for school and talking about this school and all that I’d already found out.  He stopped me cold in my tracks and said that he thought we should homeschooling.  I could NOT believe what I was hearing.  Homeschooling was something that weird families did and only produced weird, antisocial children.  How could he suggest such?!

And on top of that, how on earth could I teach our child the things he needed to learn in school?  How does one teach a child to read?  Or that 2+2=4?  I just wasn’t equipped for that.  After 5 years, I still wasn’t convinced that I was cut out for mothering, now he wanted me to teach him ALL THE THINGS?  So, my answer was simple and firm.  I said, “No.”  There was no room for discussion and no changing my mind.  I didn’t want to hear reasons or direction from God.  My answer was No and that was it.  (It’s one of 2 times in the past 16 years of marriage that this has happened.)

Nathan didn’t push me, but he did continue to pray.  As we investigated the school and found it less than desirable, he still didn’t say anything.  We kept moving forward in that direction because in my mind, there was no other option.  Our son was school age and he would go to the public school we were zoned for.  That’s just what you did.

However, God had other plans and He even worked around my stubbornness.  He moved us from Springfield, MO to Gallatin, TN.  While in Gallatin, we ran into the same problem with a less than desirable public school.  But another option presented itself in the form of a small private, Christian, church school.  We couldn’t really afford it, but they school was small and in true Christian manner, they worked with us.  Nathan even taught classes there to supplement tuition.

I won’t say that Chas got the best education there, but he did do well and learn the things that a kindergartner and first grader should learn.  From there, we continued to move around and God continued to provide good private school options (except for one semester in a public school in CA, but even that was redeemed!).  Chas attended private and mostly Classical schools.

But at one of those schools he was so bullied that my heart was torn in two.  He was hit in one place on his arm until the kids drew blood.  He was so distraught that he once told me that he didn’t even want to live anymore.  I was DONE.  We were in an area where there were no other options.  It was through this that the Lord put homeschooling back in my mind and fostered it in my heart.  I didn’t care if I would be a great teacher.  I didn’t care about my fears of my inadequacies.  My baby was being hurt and it had to stop.  I was finally ready.  Scared out of my mind, but I was ready.  But God being who and what He is, still provided and we found a different (and amazing!) school.

Yet, that homeschooling burden didn’t go away.  So, when Nathan came home one day and told me that he was getting out of the Navy (the 2^nd time I said, “No.”) and moving back to Tennessee, I knew that we were going to homeschool when we got there.  And I was able to prepare.  I spoke to MANY families that homeschool, both Christian families who homeschool for theological reasons and military families who homeschool for practical reasons.

The ultimate reason that we homeschool is because I believe that it is my job to educate my child.  It is a command that we are given in Scripture.  Some do this by sending their child to a public or private school.  We choose to do this at home because if I am accountable for what he learns and how he learns it, then I want to do the best job I can.  I don’t think that will happen at a public school in the current and present culture that we live in.  There is just as much indoctrination that happens as true education and we must be aware.  Instead of working to counteract even the most subtle of errors, we’ve chosen to completely remove the problem.

I’ve had to repent for saying “No” in the beginning and I’ve grieved for the time we lost.  However, I am thankful that even in my rebellion that God redeemed it and gave Chas an amazing education.  I would advise anyone who has a child that is school aged to pray for what it is that God would have you do concerning your child and their education.  Don’t spend time worrying about whether you are competent or what others might say.  Choose what is best for him/her, whatever that might be.

For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards

Today is a very special day.  Jen Hatmaker's new book, For the Love, comes out today.  I have been privileged to read an advanced copy of this book and I must say that it is amazing.  As a person who is struggling to figure out exactly what it means to seek the Kingdom, this book spoke straight to my heart.  

Jen examines the life of the individual, the church, and community.  She speaks honestly about her struggles with the people of God and those in her own family (Parenting! For the Love!).  She takes an open look at the issues that we struggle with as we try to be women who do it all, have it all, and be it all, perfectly.

The beauty of this book is that even though Jen speaks about the tough issues that we face and forces you to dig deep into your own life and thoughts, she also gives you a little break and offers comical respites, such as her own personal Jimmy Fallon-esque Thank You Notes.  Just when you are about to cry your eyes out because you know that she wrote that passage with you in mind, she jumps to fashion crimes and you begin to cry with laughter!

This book is a great way to begin to have those tough conversations with those around you, in your home, in your community, in your life.  It helps us to start figuring out what this life is all about and how it should be lived - For the Love!

This post is part of Jen Hatmaker's "For the Love" Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers.  To learn more and join us, click here.

Why Wednesday? Clean Eating/Whole Foods

Why Whole Foods/Clean Eating?

Just to clear things up, I don’t mean Whole Foods Market, though I do tend to shop there.  No, today I’m talking about why I eat the way I do, or at least try to.  There is no simple answer to this question.  I can’t talk about the way I eat without talking about the whole of life.

To start, I think I have to answer the question of why eat at all?  What is the purpose of eating?  We eat to sustain ourselves.  Better said, we eat to live.  Without food, we can’t be sustained.  What follows is what kind of life to you want?  I want a healthy life, therefore I want to eat healthy.

Eating healthy means different things to different people.  I have friends and family that believe that if it says “healthy” “low fat/calorie” or “good for you” on the label or on tv, then it must, in fact, be healthy.  What those labels mean to me is that they’ve probably taken the really heathy parts and replaced them with things to make it taste better or last longer.  That is why I try to eat ‘clean’ or ‘whole foods.’

Clean eating is basically the premise that you eat things that are processed as little as possible or have few ingredients.  I am not a strict adherent to this principle, so if that’s what you are into or if you want more info on that kind of life, I’d suggest you go here.  She’s got some great info and some recipes that are AMAZING!

I believe that the reason that we have so many health problems in our country is because we tend to lack food in our food.  There are so many preservatives, processed, and synthetic parts in our food that it rarely resembles what it’s actually supposed to be.  Try looking at a normal bottle of fruit juice.  To me, the only ingredient should be the fruit, right?  However, that is rarely the case.  Look at a jar of pickles.  You know what it takes to make a jar of pickles?  Cucumbers, pickling spices, vinegar, and water.  Do you know what the common ingredients in a store bought jar of pickles?  Cucumbers, water, vinegar, salt, calcium chloride, sodium benzoate, polysorbate 80, natural flavors, and yellow #5.

With the modern invent of so many convenience foods in our country, from fast food drive thrus to grocery store prepared food sections, we have lost the nutrients in our food.  That’s why we need vitamins, supplements, and drugs to solve problems that could be solved by returning to a diet that actually contains those vitamins and nutrients.

So, that is why I eat clean/whole foods.  When I can.  Because just like everyone else in the world, I don’t always have the time to bake my own bread (I do it when I can) or squeeze my own orange juice, or pickle my own pickles.  I fall prey to the modern conveniences, too.  But that is why it is so important that you read labels and choose wisely.  Perhaps you have to buy spaghetti sauce instead of making your own, read the labels and make a good choice.  Stay away from high sugars and a multiplicity of ingredients (especially if you can’t recognize or pronounce them!). 

Because in the end, all we can do is the best we can.  Make good, healthy choices when we can.  And this helps in those times when we can’t.  Our body was made to heal itself.  So if we are able to eat as clean and whole as possible 75% of the time, then our body will work to repair any damage that is caused when we run through the McDonald’s drive thru during the remaining 25% of time.  Food is meant to sustain us, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy it.  We just have to make sure that it is in it's proper place and that we are being good stewards of self and others.