Peace.
I have already shared this on Facebook and with friends. Last year, I didn't get my word until the end of January. After going out with a friend for her birthday, I came home and couldn't sleep. So, instead of turning on the TV like normal, I decided to read my Bible. I opened it to Proverbs and wisdom just starting staring me in the face. Picking a word for the year was a fad that I had no intention of joining. Yet, with God's Word staring me in the face, I couldn't say no.
For 2015, I got my word EARLY. Like, beginning of December early. I have a general disposition of being stressed and full of worry. Those who know me best are well aware of this. I would say that I can't help it, but honestly, we all know I can. So, Peace as my word came to me like this.
One day, I went grocery shopping. Ordinarily I love to grocery shop. It's my happy place. But this day, it seemed to take forever. I was already beginning to stress about getting finished, getting everything home, unloading it all, finishing up some stuff at the house, and then I had to cook what I'd just bought! I was completely worn out and I hadn't done anything yet. This was a typical MO for me. There were weeks when I was tired and crazed on Monday because I was so busy looking at all that had to be accomplished by Friday.
But, on this day I decided to change it. Having been seeking wisdom, I thought about the absolute silliness of my situation. Why on earth was I considering the things ahead of me, when I hadn't even finished the task I was doing? So, I stopped. I simply thought about what I was doing right then and opted to seek the wisdom of not borrowing from tomorrow's (or the next hour's) troubles. I was amazed at the sense that overcame me. I can only describe it as peace.
So, when I did get home, my boys helped me unload the groceries and put things away. Once again, I wasn't stressing. I wasn't casting furtive glances at the clock and calculating how much time I had to do what. I simply focused on the task before me and got it done.
Once that was done, I thought about the things that I had left unfinished and prioritized them and set about doing those. I was amazed at how they just flew by. Tasks that I thought would take at least 2 hours were done in 30 minutes! I actually had time to sit and relax before beginning dinner. It was a completely new thing for me. Not only was I not perpetually stressed, but I really had time to cruise Facebook or Pinterest?
I still had this on my mind, a few weeks later when I had to plan for a Christmas Cookie Exchange that I was hosting (whew! THAT is another post altogether). Being the stressed worrier that I am, hosting any kind of event from a few friends for dinner to parties and everything in between tends to send me, and by extension my family, into a whirlwind. But then I remembered that peaceful day and how I had tried to incorporate that mentality since then.
So, the week of the party, I drew up a list of the things that needed to be done. There was a lot. I made the decision NOT to be overwhelmed and instead, I prioritized the list and separated it into the days that I thought were reasonable to accomplish the tasks. It would be busy, but it seemed manageable. No need to worry.
On Day 2, at around 10am, I realized that I had already accomplished my daily tasks and party tasks. So, I looked to see what could be done from the next day's tasks. And then did those! I was amazed. By the time, the party day arrived, I was almost ahead of schedule. There were those pesky time sensitive things that you just have to wait until the last minute to do, but still. I was amazed at how little I was stressed. I even had time to sit and relax for a while before my guests (all 2 of them!) showed up. It was awesome.
After reflecting on all this, I knew what God was showing me. Peace. That is what had been lacking. It wasn't that the tasks were that much simpler or that I was actually getting things done quicker. With the peaceful mindset, I had a different perspective. I was able to see things differently and be much calmer while prioritizing and accomplishing them. A sense of peace doesn't eliminate trouble, it just helps us deal with it all better. This is what God wanted to cultivate in me in 2015. This was to be my focus.
Now, I have my word. I have my thoughts. God has already been using this to introduce Himself to me as Provider (with Wisdom, came God as Creator). All is going smoothly, right? Uh, no. I'm still panicky and stressed and worrisome. But then again, it is still January. I'm still measuring progress in minutes. Hopefully, it will soon be hours and then days and so on. And I am still pursuing wisdom. I can't let that go in pursuit of peace. After all, isn't it quite wise to pursue and cultivate peace?