On Being a Grown-Up

I’m not sure when it happened.  And to be honest, on some days, I wonder if it actually has happened.  But then I get a bill , my son needs fed, or I have to go to work and then I realize that, Yes, I am actually a grown up human being.

Yet, there are a several good things about being a grown up.  For instance, last night we were invited over to our friends’ house.  They are a lovely couple roughly the same age as us with two beautiful children.  We try to get together at least once a month, sometimes more.  R makes a beautiful meal, or we order Papa Murphy’s with some strange concoction that he assures us tastes great, and it usually does.

Then, L makes dessert and coffee, their littles go to bed, and we watch Survivor (or a movie, if it’s not on).  We giggle like children and the inane babble, poor gameplay, and random tomfoolery.  We guess what’s going to happen next and armchair quarterback.  We make jokes and laugh so hard that R has to pause the TV.  Several seasons of this tradition and there are still jokes that are made on a regular basis.  Perhaps we aren’t as grown-up as we think.

We have another couple, just a few years younger than us, that we get together with, too.  It runs about the same.  We go over. A makes a delicious meal. We do laundry.  The littles go to bed.  Then NGD and M start with the theological debates or random discussions and before you know it, its 3am, I’m contemplating the Doctrines of Grace, and Chas is asking if we can go home so he can go to bed.  (I may have forgotten to mention that M is our pastor now)

Just before Christmas, we got together with new friends.  Well, somewhat new.  NGD and AC had been friends for a while and I knew his wife, but we’d never really hung out before.  She made a great meal and we spent the entire night (all their littles and Chas were absent) laughing, sharing, and figuring out the mysteries of the universe.  It was a great night and I really hope that we’re able to do it again soon.

I never thought that I’d be the type of adult who has other adult friends that you get together with on a regular basis.  My parents never really had friends when I was growing up.  They worked too much (now that they are retired, they are ALWAYS out with their friends).  Not to mention being in the military doesn’t exactly lend itself well to that sort of thing. 

However, here I am.  I have friends.  I have community.  I have people that I can call if the truck breaks down or if I need a place to do laundry.  I am an adult and I kind of like it.

Five Friday Favorites

Five Adjectives for You

Well, I have to say that this is a little difficult for me.  I was at a Women’s Conference several years ago and we had to write out five characteristics that we loved about ourselves.  I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to think of things and I still only came up with three, which included such gems as, I have great hearing.

So, to think of five adjectives is quite difficult, especially when I’m trying to be positive.  However, here goes:

1. Wry – using or expressing dry, especially mocking humor.

This adjective is a double-edged sword.  For the most part, I really enjoy dry wit.  British shows crack me up and I’ve generally always played the straight man.  Unfortunately, it does take a turn from time to time and I do tend toward the mocking, sarcastic, and mocking avenues.  I’ve done much better in recent years and have taken the necessary steps to keep the sarcasm and cynicism in check.

2. Anxious – experiencing worry, unease, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

Another adjective I struggle with.  Anxiety is like an old friend that rears her ugly head a lot more often than I would like.  Blessedly, she’s been keeping her distance.  Unfortunately, she’s still on the periphery lying in wait.

3. Studious – spending a lot of time studying or reading.

Whereas I’m sure that this one can be seen in the negative, all I can think is the positive.  I love books.  I work in a bookstore.  I love to read and to learn new things.  It’s a passion.  It’s one of the reasons that I make my reading lists.  Reading in particular is very special to me because you get to enter different worlds, ones that I would never otherwise get to see.  Also, as a wife and mother and homesteader, being an autodidact is almost a job requirement.

4. Holistic – characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole.

I desperately want to be whole.  I strive for it.  Had I not already chosen ‘joy’ for my word this year, I could have easily chosen whole.  I truly believe that the only way to true healing is by looking at the whole instead of the parts.  To be truly whole, I must have healing in the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual.

5. Fluffy – of, like, or covered with fluff.

I am really trying with the positive, but I just can’t help it.  The best way to describe my body-type is definitely ‘fluffy.’  And by calling it fluff rather than other adjectives makes it sound much happier.  It evokes better thoughts, clouds, whip cream, stuffed animals, etc.

How Being a Christian is like Living in an Alternate Reality

Recently, NGD and I have been watching Fringe.  We have a soft spot for great Sci Fi TV shows (Doctor Who is still #1!).  One of the main ideas of the show (Spoilers if, like us, you haven’t watched this show in the last 2 years since it was canceled), was the premise of an alternate universe.  It was concurrent with ours with some minor and major changes, like zeppelins (because all sci fi alternate realities have zeppelins), a higher rate of scientific discovery, and Eric Stolz as Marty McFly.  At first, I didn’t really like this story (and I still have a few reservations).   

We’ve also begun a new church.  This past Wednesday night, we had an introductory lesson from our pastor.  In it, he gave a mission statement stating that our purpose was for the edification of the church to learn to think Biblically.  He spent a great deal of time teaching about the need to learn to think biblically and putting off the old man while putting on the new (Eph. 4:22-24).

As I began to think on this, thinking biblically and putting off the old man and putting on the new, it occurred to me that being a Christian is kind of like living in an alternate reality.  As we move through this world as Christians, we should view everything through the lens of Jesus and His word.  Everything is still the same, but it’s different, too.  We’re the same, but we’re also different.

It’s true that at the time of salvation, we are changed, an inward change, and that we are sealed.  However, we continue that process of sanctification and learning to think biblically as we continue to mature as Christians.  We continue to grow into this alternate, or contrary, world of becoming Christ-like.  We begin to see the upside down Kingdom that Jesus himself established during His time on earth.

Sometimes, it may seem like we are the only ones that are living or behaving this way.  Sometimes, it feels like we are so far out of sync with the world in which we live that we really are in an alternate universe.  This is one of the many reasons that having a community of believers is so important.

We also need to remember that we’re never alone.  And that our sanctified selves and the alternate reality in which we live, that is what is true.  That is what is right.  This earthly place in which we live isn’t our home.  It isn’t where we are to be comfortable.  Just as the earlier passage from Ephesians said, “and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,” (Eph. 4:23), we have to think on Romans 12:2:  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

We have to renew our minds and continue in sanctification and thinking biblically.  That is where we will gain the needed perspective to see what is true and what is of this world.

Resolutions vs. Goals

So, I think that most of us think of new beginnings at the start of a new year.  Some of us make solid, concrete resolutions and some just think about a few things that it might be good to change.  I, myself, have had a bit of a love/hate relationship with resolutions.  Part of it is because of the connotations that come along with actually writing out a list of behaviors we want to add in or give up.  I mean, it is kind of lame.

And yet, I still tend to do it.  I’ve gone so far as to make “new school year” resolutions.  I like the idea of change for the better and I tend to pursue it more than I actually follow through.  A few years ago, I really got on board and I made a great list of things that I wanted to do in the new year, we can call them resolutions, though I’m not entirely sure how resolved I really was at the time.

So great was this list that I still refer back to it.  I still look at the items on that list and try to make my poor, menial, and gradual steps toward those changes.  I do see some progress in my life.  Some of those changes have happened in ways that I could not have imagined and some are right on course.  I think of that list as more of life resolutions rather than just for a year.

With that in mind, I decided this year that I would make a small list of resolutions that would put me closer to those on my original list.  Then I boiled it down even further and came up with 3 items that I really wanted to focus on, 3 attainable items.  And rather than calling them resolutions, I am calling them goals.

Since my word this year is joy, I want to make that a main focus and really try to work on my joy.  I want it to be a lens of sorts that I see other things through.  As a part of that, I want to blog more.  Writing has been part of me for my entire life.  As an adult, I’ve ebbed and flowed on how much I actually make the time to write.  Last year, I blogged more than I had ever before.  I actually made the effort to post at least once a month.  I want to build on that this year and hopefully get back to the joy of writing.

I also really want to focus on health (mine and my family).  We are growing ever more crunchy and I love it.  I want to continue to learn and really become proactive with our family’s health.  As such, I have already joined a group and have received my first gallon of raw milk and ordered my essential oil starter kit!  As a bit of a subheading to this, I want to start running again.  I’ve never been a runner, but I’ve always wanted to be.  I did a 5K a while back and I really enjoyed it and the training.  I felt better mentally and physically and loved the accomplishments I made along the way.

I hope to share progress on these regularly and use that for accountability.  I’m really hard on myself and have a tendency to give up whenever I fail.  Hopefully, putting it “out there” will help me to do better in sticking with it and meeting each of these goals in 2016 and beyond.

Homesteading Sitrep: January

I haven’t updated since October.  And there’s a very good reason for that… there’s not much to update.  Due to several things, not much has been done.  NGD started work on the well house, a much needed project, but then then rains began and the hole that he dug for the foundation has become our own little pond.  Now the water has been drained and the rains have stopped but it’s too cold for the concrete to cure.

So, on to the next:  the fireplace/study.  This is the next area we hope to focus on.  As a matter of fact, NGD and Chas have gone right now to get the stones and mortar, etc. to begin work on this.  This is after a week of research, two failed attempts, and a broken pickup.  Sigh.  No one said it would be easy.  Even writing about this is hard.

I sometimes get discouraged.  Okay, I often get discouraged.  I have come to realize many things during this project.  One of which is contentment.  I’m learning to deal with living in close quarters.  I’m learning a new repertoire of recipes and things that are easily prepared in a camper kitchen with minimal resources.  I’m trying to find contentment instead of just railing about every little convenience because who does that help?

Once again, I am reminded that this is a LONG-TERM project and trying to grow out of my impatient, instant gratification ways.  As it sits right now, we have 11 months, 3 weeks, and 3 days on the countdown clock.  That’s a considerable amount of time and a lot can happen.  NGD assures me that we are still on pace and that this is still an achievable goal.  I try to make myself remember that when all I see is a house with no floors or walls and little to no progress.

So, with all the negative out of the way, here’s what’s on the horizon.  Hopefully, the fireplace will be done by the end of January and then we’ll start on the study (walls, floors, supports, etc.) beginning in February.  This is one step closer to being able to move in and actually live in the house.  We also may put a pause on the house and work a little on the chicken coop/brooder house due to timing and the fact that I can’t wait to have fresh eggs/chicken.  Baby steps, slow-going, and victory in inches are still my mantra.  

*Btw, 'sitrep' is a military term (and possibly used elsewhere) from situation report.

It’s All About The Books

Reading is one of my favorite pastimes.  I’ve posted pretty extensively about it here.  So, without further ado, I will post my reading goals for 2016.

Help My Unbelief by Barnabas Piper

Searching for Sunday by Rachel Held Evans

The Jesus I Never Knew by Phillip Yancey

Housewife Theologian by Aimee Byrd

The Making of an Ordinary Saint by Nathan Foster

Something by Wendell Berry (I’ve yet to decide on a title)

The Hole in Our Holiness by Kevin DeYoung

The Abolition of Man by CS Lewis

The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst

Simply Jesus by NT Wright

Notes from a Blue Bike by Tsh Oxenreider

Orthodoxy by GK Chesterton

Hipster Christianity by Brett McCracken

The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight

Father Brown Mystery by GK Chesterton

Recovering Redemption by Matt Chandler

The Insanity of God by Nik Ripken

Heretics by GK Chesterton

I only have 18 books on my list this year.  I will explain a little more of the reasoning behind that soon.  I also usually like to leave a couple spots open for recommendations.  Otherwise, this is pretty much it.

I do realize that this list is a little unbalanced.  There’s a lot of Chesterton and not a lot of fiction.  Those kind of go hand-in-hand.  I actually added Father Brown to compensate for the lack of fiction.  A good portion of this list is actually heavy on books that I already own.  Other than that, I will see how it goes.  I have a lot of books that I’d like to read, but this list is pretty skewed.  I may either learn a lot or it could backfire and I may get bored with the same topics.

So, there it is.  What are you reading this year?

2016's Word...

Chas asked me early on Christmas Eve what my favorite Christmas hymn was.  I couldn’t be bothered at that moment to think on it and answer.  I was in the process of helping my mom and T-dub cook, wrap presents, and get ready for Christmas Eve service at church.  And did I mention that I’d been up since 5am and driven 4 hours to get there?

It wasn’t until we got to church and the beauty of it all fell upon me that I realized not only what my favorite hymn was and what my word should be this year.  We all stood in the darkened sanctuary with the soft glow of all those beautiful lights and began to sing:

Joy to the world

The Lord is come

Let earth receive her King

Let every heart prepare Him room

It hit me like a ton of bricks.  Thinking of the blessed anticipation of Advent and singing this song just made sense.  Joy to the world!  The Lord is come!  Please, Jesus, let earth receive her King!  And let every heart prepare Him room.  Let me receive my King and my heart prepare Him room.  Please give me joy, Lord!

In the past few years, I’ve worked on Wisdom and Peace, so now I will see how Joy is going to fit into this work that Jesus is currently doing in my life.  I don’t know how this is going to work out.  It is taking a great amount of faith to commit to this and that will call upon what I’ve been learning so far about Peace, anxiety, and fear.

Do you have a word this year?  If so, what is it and how does that fit into your life?