Monday's Sitrep...

Well, I have to say that things are not going well.  To be more precise, "not going well," is an astronomical understatement.

To date, I have failed to go to the fitness center even once, go to any fitness class, pick up my "January" books, or well, much of anything that was on my list on Friday.  Yes, as I said, I'm on fire.  Also, the new and improved schedule?  Well, lets just say, getting a meal ready at a certain time is not my strong point.  Neither is getting to bed or getting up at the designated time.  Nor is getting started with Chas' school on time.  Yes, so basically EVERYTHING on the schedule.  Sigh.

Yet.  I have had one minor success.  The book that I'm reading all year?  The Making of an Ordinary Saint by Nathan Foster.  Well, I did start that.  This month's discipline is: Submission.  I don't know if you have ever discussed this in a group before, but it can get very interesting very quickly.  I've heard everything from a call to change the word (not the idea, just the word) to the ideas of blind submission.

To be perfectly honest, I don't have much of a problem with this.  I understand the Biblical concept and I like it.  I'm so a "liberty within bounds" kind of girl.  Give me complete freedom and I feel oppressed (As was  evidenced recently on a trip to the Goodwill with a close friend.  So.  Many.  Clothes.)  I just can't handle it.  Give me parameters and I can thrive.  Now, this is a sweeping generalization, but for the most part it fits.

I didn't think too much about studying submission this month and didn't think too much of the fact that I was starting so late into the month.  I didn't wrestle with submission and I was good at it (for the most part).  I erred at times, but I wasn't expecting any earth shattering revelations either.

I was wrong.  In reading Mr. Foster's chapter on submission, I was shocked to realize that what I had described in my word for the year as peace, was more akin to submission (Peace is still my word and I'm still working on cultivating that).  When I found peace in the situations I described, it was because I had submitted myself to God.  Instead of worrying and trying to figure things out in advance, I had stopped and submitted my will to His.  It created a peace in me that has inspired me to seek it more and more.

This is significant.  Especially in a week where I already feel like such a failure (why, yes, it is 11:44pm and I'm not in bed yet).  I needed that encouragement.  I needed to know that even though I am failing, I'm not a failure.  I am still learning and progressing, even if it is at a glacial pace.

I have learned that in order to continue to pursue Peace, I must practice submission, not just in the ways that I'm used to.  No, I must seek out ways to submit.  I must foster a heart that is willing to submit even when it is hard and even when I don't want to.  This is what I'm called to in obedience to Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

Let's Get Physical...

I'm only slightly embarrassed to admit that I still do New Year's Resolutions.  There was a fair gap there where I didn't, but in recent years I have gotten caught up in the idea of change and newness.  Last year, I didn't do as well as I had hoped, but I will say that my mindset was different.

To make my resolutions for 2015, I decided to focus on the 4 pillars of health (I wrote more about those here.)  So, I divided my list into Physical, Spiritual, Mental, and, well, Family - but that hinges on emotional, right?  I came up with 3-5 resolutions for each category.  Some aren't shareable, but I wanted to help stay accountable, so I'll share what I can.

Today, I want to focus on the Physical list.  There are the resolutions that will pertain to my physical health.

1. Workout 3-5 times a week.  My plan is to go to our fitness center while it's cold out on M-W-F (I'll switch over to running outside when it gets warmer, remember when it was #stupidcold last week?).  I'm also going to go to fitness classes twice a week with my BFF.

2. Run(ish) at least one 5K this year (hopefully, two).  This was the one of the only resolutions I completed last year.  I can't stop now!  The BFF has already signed up for the Foam Glow Run and the Color Run is in May.

3.  Eat healthier and simpler.  Less sugar, more water.  I have already started this, but I want to keep going and take it as far as I can.

4.  Be more diligent in personal care.  I already pay a crazy amount of attention to why goes into my food, why don't I do the same with my personal care?  I need to find the best way to take care of my skin, hair, and body.  And trim my hair more often/cut down on the hair dye.  Seriously.

5.  Introduce more natural/holistic/homeopathic healthcare (both treating and preventative).  I've known for some time that I have to start looking into probiotics and digestive enzymes.  I just resist because who wants to focus on gut health?  This is the year, though.  Read, research, and do.

It's seems like a lot for such a small list.  On the one hand, it all seems so basic and easy.  On the other, it is incredibly daunting.  I have to remember that it is a journey.  I'm not looking for things that I can check off of a list.  I want a better lifestyle for me and my family so that I can serve and glorify God in the manner that He desires.  This is what I'm attempting so that I can get there.

Oh, My Books...

Does anyone else make book lists for the year?  One of my favorite bloggers clued me in to this.  I started in 2014 and made an incredible ambitious list that included several classics, such as Plato's Republic and Jane Eyre, as well as several books that I guess can best be described as theological?

I'm very sad to say that I only read 4 of my 24 books*.  That's not to say that I only read 4 books in 2014 (perish the thought!), but of all the books I read, only 4 were on my list.  I posted about the first one I completed.  I was pretty excited.  If only I had carried that through the rest of the list!

In any event, I have made my list for 2015.  I really want to do better this year.  I decided to split it up, thusly (yeah, I said it).  I figure I can realistically probably ready 2 books a month (with the books that I have chosen).  So, I picked 11 works of literature and 11 non-fiction (theological-ish) books.  That way I can read one fiction and one nonfiction book a month, when I tire of one, I can switch to the other.  I'm also leaving two slots open for new books that catch my fancy.  (8 days into the year and it's already happened)

Now, one of the books is on the subject of Spiritual Discipline, of which there are 12.  So, I decided to focus on one discipline a month (more on that in future posts).  This means that I will be reading one book over the course of the year, one chapter a month (this will also teach me the discipline of patience because I can't imagine taking a year to complete a book).

And without further ado, here's my list:

  1. Has Christianity Failed You? by Ravi Zacharias
  2. Emma by Jane Austen

  3. Housewife Theologian by Aimee Byrd
  4.  The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allen Poe

  5. The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight
  6. Jane Eyre by Emily Bronte

  7. The Beloved Disciple by Beth Moore
  8. Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (haven't decided which story yet)

  9. Reshaping It All by Candace Cameron Bure
10. Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling

11.  Three Free Sins by Scott Brown
12.  A Midsummer's Night Dream by William Shakespeare

13.  Orthodoxy by GK Chesterton
14.  Anne of Green Gables by LM Montgomery

15.  Restless by Jennie Allen

16.  Faith Unraveled by Rachel Held Evans
17.  Walden by Henry David Thoreau

18.  Crazy Love by Francis Chan
19.  Notes from a Blue Bike by Tsh Oxenreider

20.  Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker (this has already changed from 7 also by Jen Hatmaker)
21.  A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

22.  The Making of an Ordinary Saint by Nathan Foster -  this is the book I will read over the course of the year.

Some of these are new to me and some are classics that I love and can't wait to re-read.  Some are books that I've picked up and started to read and didn't get through (rare, but it happens).  It's not an overly ambitious list, that's for sure, but I wanted to be realistic and leave room open for any new books that might come my way.

If you have read any of these, let me know what you thought.  Or if you have a book list, please share it.

*The books from my list that I actually finished for 2014 are:  Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist, A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans, Soul Detox by Craig Groeschel, and Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey

And 2015's Word is...

Peace.

I have already shared this on Facebook and with friends.  Last year, I didn't get my word until the end of January.  After going out with a friend for her birthday, I came home and couldn't sleep.  So, instead of turning on the TV like normal, I decided to read my Bible.  I opened it to Proverbs and wisdom just starting staring me in the face.  Picking a word for the year was a fad that I had no intention of joining.  Yet, with God's Word staring me in the face, I couldn't say no.

For 2015, I got my word EARLY.  Like, beginning of December early.  I have a general disposition of being stressed and full of worry.  Those who know me best are well aware of this.  I would say that I can't help it, but honestly, we all know I can.  So, Peace as my word came to me like this.

One day, I went grocery shopping.  Ordinarily I love to grocery shop.  It's my happy place.  But this day, it seemed to take forever.  I was already beginning to stress about getting finished, getting everything home, unloading it all, finishing up some stuff at the house, and then I had to cook what I'd just bought!  I was completely worn out and I hadn't done anything yet.  This was a typical MO for me.  There were weeks when I was tired and crazed on Monday because I was so busy looking at all that had to be accomplished by Friday.

But, on this day I decided to change it.  Having been seeking wisdom, I thought about the absolute silliness of my situation.  Why on earth was I considering the things ahead of me, when I hadn't even finished the task I was doing?  So, I stopped.  I simply thought about what I was doing right then and opted to seek the wisdom of not borrowing from tomorrow's (or the next hour's) troubles.  I was amazed at the sense that overcame me.  I can only describe it as peace.

So, when I did get home, my boys helped me unload the groceries and put things away.  Once again, I wasn't stressing.  I wasn't casting furtive glances at the clock and calculating how much time I had to do what.  I simply focused on the task before me and got it done.

Once that was done, I thought about the things that I had left unfinished and prioritized them and set about doing those.  I was amazed at how they just flew by.  Tasks that I thought would take at least 2 hours were done in 30 minutes!  I actually had time to sit and relax before beginning dinner.  It was a completely new thing for me.  Not only was I not perpetually stressed, but I really had time to cruise Facebook or Pinterest?

I still had this on my mind, a few weeks later when I had to plan for a Christmas Cookie Exchange that I was hosting (whew! THAT is another post altogether).  Being the stressed worrier that I am, hosting any kind of event from a few friends for dinner to parties and everything in between tends to send me, and by extension my family, into a whirlwind.  But then I remembered that peaceful day and how I had tried to incorporate that mentality since then.

So, the week of the party, I drew up a list of the things that needed to be done.  There was a lot.  I made the decision NOT to be overwhelmed and instead, I prioritized the list and separated it into the days that I thought were reasonable to accomplish the tasks.  It would be busy, but it seemed manageable.  No need to worry.

On Day 2, at around 10am, I realized that I had already accomplished my daily tasks and party tasks.  So, I looked to see what could be done from the next day's tasks.  And then did those!  I was amazed.  By the time, the party day arrived, I was almost ahead of schedule.  There were those pesky time sensitive things that you just have to wait until the last minute to do, but still.  I was amazed at how little I was stressed.  I even had time to sit and relax for a while before my guests (all 2 of them!) showed up.  It was awesome.

After reflecting on all this, I knew what God was showing me.  Peace.  That is what had been lacking.  It wasn't that the tasks were that much simpler or that I was actually getting things done quicker.  With the peaceful mindset, I had a different perspective.  I was able to see things differently and be much calmer while prioritizing and accomplishing them.  A sense of peace doesn't eliminate trouble, it just helps us deal with it all better.  This is what God wanted to cultivate in me in 2015.  This was to be my focus.

Now, I have my word.  I have my thoughts.  God has already been using this to introduce Himself to me as Provider (with Wisdom, came God as Creator).  All is going smoothly, right?  Uh, no.  I'm still panicky and stressed and worrisome.  But then again, it is still January.  I'm still measuring progress in minutes.  Hopefully, it will soon be hours and then days and so on.  And I am still pursuing wisdom.  I can't let that go in pursuit of peace.  After all, isn't it quite wise to pursue and cultivate peace?

Resolutions and revelations...

It's cold.  Like really, really, really cold.  Suddenly the hashtag #stupidcold doesn't seem so silly.  I think most of the country knows what I'm talking about.

It's also our first day back to school for this semester/2015.  I'm not sure why I get so pumped about a new year or school year.  Do others do this?  Excitement about being able to start over or start new?  Shouldn't every day be like that?  After all, we are told that God's mercies are made new each morning.

Since we spent, a lot of time with my family for Christmas and didn't get home until 5 Jan and we needed to get settled, it hasn't really felt like the new year until today.  We instituted our "new & improved" daily schedule (which had me getting up at 6:30 this morning.  Yawn.)  I love a good schedule, a sense of purpose and structure to my day.  I even cleaned my upstairs bathroom this morning.  That's what my new & improved schedule said for the day!

Toward the end of 2014, I looked back on my resolutions, my book list, and our long discarded schedule.  It was a little discouraging.  I only accomplished one measurable resolution, read 5 of 24 books, and, well, I think the modifier "long-discarded" sums up the schedule.

I also reflected on my "one word" for 2014, which was "wisdom."  Did I become wise in 2014?  No.  Did I learn more about wisdom?  Yes.  And no.  Did I lose track of seeking wisdom?  Yes.  Did I try to regain my journey toward wisdom?  Yes.  It was imperfect progress, to be sure, but I do think there was progress.

In my attempt to think about and meditate on wisdom, I learned a lot about God.  I discovered Him as Creator, in a whole new way.  Seeking wise choices and wise paths taught me the need to be much more deliberate in all things.  Having this thought in the back of my mind made me notice wisdom every time it popped up in Scripture reading, in conversation, in entertainment.

So, even though 2014 wasn't the year that I became wise, it was still a fruitful experiment and I did learn a lot.  I also realized that there wasn't a need to be discouraged.  Change can happen overnight, but it can also happen deliberately over the course of time.  I may not have become as wise as Solomon, or Jesus, but I do hope that I'm a little more so than I was a year ago.  If nothing else, my eyes are open to the places where more progress is needed.

Instead of discarding those unmet resolutions, I have carried over the ones I think are fruitful and reworded a couple others.  And then added a few more.  I may or may not meet them in 2015, but I want to try.  I won't give up.  I also have my new reading list for 2015 (with a few carry-overs and a few new), and I've already shared about the new schedule (yay!).

I hope to blog more in 2015 (I blogged more in 2014 than ever before) and share about my imperfect progress and other goings on.  Hopefully, I will post next week and share my word (and reasons) for this year.