A Year of Peace

My word for this year was Peace.  I would have to say that I am unsure of my success regarding my year of peace.  I may be a bit more peaceful now than I was last year at this time.  By and large, I am not what most would call peaceful.  Most of my friends know that anxiety is something that plagues me.

Now, as I said, I haven’t quite mastered the idea of peace.  However, several good things have come from a year dedicated to the pursuit of peace.  I have learned a great deal, beginning with the idea of what is the enemy of peace?  This answer may vary for many, but for me, the enemy of my peace was my anxiety and fear. 

I had to find out the root of my anxiety and fear:  lack of faith.  So, there it was; the actual obstacle that I had to overcome.  I’m still working toward it.  Faith is hard for me.  I’m not sure the cause, maybe it is the stubbornness of being from the “Show Me State.”  Regardless, it is something that I am consistently battling and working toward.

The other cool thing about my word this year is how much it popped up!  I couldn’t believe how much just the word PEACE showed up in my every day life.  Before I’d even made it home from the holidays, my parent’s pastor preached a short series on the lack of peace and it’s enemy anxiety.  I also taught a series from the Gospel according to John, which has a LOT to say about peace.  Or maybe that is just where my heart was.

I also made some amazing, Godly friends this year.  And it has been mind-blowing how often one of these great ladies would send me a message, text, note, or gift that in some way brought me back to peace.  Verses have been given that were the exact thing that I needed at that exact moment (Ex  14:14).  It has been a blessing that I didn’t even know to hope for.

So, how would I characterize my progress toward peace?  Well, like most things, it is a process.  I’m definitely not where I want, or need, to be.  But I am working closer to that direction.  If nothing else, I am way more aware of peace and my need for it.  And that is a very, very good thing.

2015 – A Year in Books

So, for the past few years I have been trying to set up a list of books and read through them in a year.  I’ve set a pretty unambitious goal of 24 books a year and yet, I have yet to meet my goal.  I may read 24 books, but they are never all of the ones on my list.  2015 was no different.

Here is the post detailing my book reading goals.  I did pretty good in the beginning, but then life happened.  We bought a house and farm that needs a LOT of work.  I was accepted into two book launch teams.  We spent the summer with family and friends with all our possessions in storage (still).  And I got a job!

Here’s what I finished from my list:

Has Christianity Failed You? byRavi Zacharias

Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker (alast minute substitution for 7 by Jen Hatmaker)

A Scandal in Bohemia (SherlockHolmes) by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Here are the books I started, but didn’t finish:

Orthodoxy by GK Chesterton

The Making of an Ordinary Saint by Nathan Foster

The Hole in Our Holiness by Kevin DeYoung*

And here are the ones I read that weren’t on my list:

For the Love by Jen Hatmaker

What’s So Amazing About Grace? by Phillip Yancey

Out of Sorts by Sarah Bessey

Saint Anything by Sarah Dessen

And a few other fiction books that were just quick, fun reads

All in all, not a great outing, but at least I kept reading.  Toward the end of the year, things just got nuts and I didn’t get to do nearly as much as I had hoped.  I’ll be posting my new list soon.  I’m leaving several open spots this year, at least at the beginning of the year.  I hope to have them filled by March with either recommendations from others or just wait and see what comes along my path.

*I started The Hole in Our Holiness and didn't finish, but it wasn't on my original list.

Christmas Traditions, Part Two...

When my sister and I were little, we shared a bedroom.  It was so much fun to giggle together and try to figure out what we were getting and listen for any noised that would indicate that our parents were up and we could finally be unleashed.

Now, we set a time for T-dub and J-dub to arrive so we can get things going.  Normally, I get up a little early and have a cup of coffee while I wait, looking at the tree and presents before everything is dismantled.  Even now, Chas sleeps in a bit, but he still gets up and sits patiently waiting for everyone else (the joy of having a teen vs. a toddler).

Since social media is a thing and I love it, I went ahead and began Instagramming, Tweeting, and posting on Facebook.  Adding selfies and pithy comments.  But finally T-dub and J-dub arrived.  So after they settled in with there coffee and the gifts they'd brought, we began to disseminate the gits.  I'm not sure how you do it in your house, I know everyone is different.  We divvy up the gits into piles and then everyone starts opening at the same time.

For the last couple years, we've been trying to find our groove.  We've done presents, we've done gift cards, and this year we did a mix of both.  I think we've hit our stride.  We did a few small things and then some major gift cards.  It works well for everyone and we've still got a little something to open.

I made out like a bandit this year, as did everyone else.  I got yarn, clothes, cosmetics, snacks, and a food processor.  Not to mention gift cards for Target, Amazon, iTunes, and a Visa.

Once the opening is done, Mom and Dad get started on the breakfast feast.  Dad makes Belgian waffles with all the toppings (fruit, whipped cream, powdered sugar, chocolate chips, maple syrup, etc.), sausage, and bacon.  Mom scrambles eggs, and makes biscuits, gravy, and fries up some of the ham from the day before.  T-dub and I aren't allowed to help.  This is their thing.  So we wait patiently and play with our toys or read our books or as was the case this year, color in our Adult coloring books.

After all that deliciousness, we settle in (still in our pajamas).  Sometimes, we'll make plans and go see a movie.  This year, we watched movies on TV.  It was the first time Dad and the Hubs had seen It's a Wonderful Life and the first time the Hubs and Chas had seen The Christmas Story.  After that, T-dub and J-dub left, so Mom, the Hubs, and I watched War Room and by that time, we were starting to get hungry so we reheated some leftovers and watched Chas' new movie, Ant-Man.

Not too long after that, everyone retired, but I stayed up and kept the tree lit.  I looked back on my resolutions for the past couple years and my book lists and began to work on both for 2016.  It's a process.  But I love that time of reflection all alone with the lights aglow.

So, what about you?  What are some of your traditions and fun?

Christmas Traditions, Part One

I'm not big on traditions.  I have a few and like a few, but it isn't really my thing.  However, there is something about the holidays that just pulls it out of me in a way like no other.  I love everything about holiday traditions.  I love remembering the traditions that my parents instituted, the ones we re-instituted with our son, and the new ones that we've picked up along the way.

In the past 35-years, I have only missed one Christmas with my family and even then, my parents and sister flew up the day after so we could celebrate.  Due to my new job, this year did work out a bit differently, but we still made it.  Chas came over in time to do the big celebration with my Mom's family and then the Hubs and I came over on Christmas Eve.

This really boosted my spirits.  Working in retail, I was having a bit of trouble connecting with the holiday spirit.  Even though I was tired and rushing to wrap presents and help cook and visit, I still loved being with family and my Mom's penchant for decorating her whole house.  My sister, T-dub, came over to join in the craziness before we headed to church.

The candlelight service and communion at my parent's church was also really good.  Their pastor did a wonderful job of keeping things Christ-centered and there is just something about being surrounded by all those individual lights casting a soft glow in the beauty of the sanctuary that moves me.

Then we come home to our feast.  This year things were pretty low-key, turkey, ham, dressing, potatoes, yams, and veggies with pie and bread pudding for dessert.  This was a blessing because things were incredibly yummy and also because it reduced the stress and the cleanup.  Most things were done on the grill or in crock pots.

After the feast, we open our pajamas (matching for the girls and for the boys) and play board games.  Usually we have a new game, but my mom (who was sick last year) really didn't stress this year and so we just grabbed a couple from years past, Catchphrase and Guesstures.  I know that most families play board games and most of them have fun, but I cannot believe that anyone has as much as we do.  The actual game is fun, but the commentary, giggles, and teams just can't be beat.

Then as things die down, T-dub and J-dub (her bf) go home and the rest of us go to bed to wait for morning.  It was a lot more fun when we were all together in one house and sometimes even in one room.  Now that Chas is older, there's a little bit of the excitement and magic that has left, but now it is replaced with joy and rest...

Part Two

This Life

I wish that I could say that it is no secret that I have been struggling lately.  And to some, maybe it has been.  However, my absence on blogging and social media point straight to my current plight.  I’ve leaned on a few friends and asked for a lot of prayer.

It’s been hard.  I can’t deny that.  I’m sure it is some form of pride that has caused me to shrink and not admit it.  But there it is.  There’s no way around it.  Life is hard.  No matter how much you have or how little you have.  It doesn’t matter if you are single, married, or dating, if you have no children, one child, or an entire herd.  Life is messy and complicated and difficult.

Now, to be sure, there are times when we bring the mess on ourselves and there are times when it is just out of our control.  So, what then?  If life is hard, then what do we do about it? 

I’m not sure I’m qualified to answer and I don’t know that there is a one size fits all answer.  Each mess is different.  No, I think that the key in any situation, in any mess, is your perspective.  Since we know that there will be messes and that life is hard, we just have to worry about how we are going to look at the mess.

For my recent situation, I have let the mess consume me.  I have treated the mess as if it was in control instead of realizing who actually was in control (answer: God).  I have wallowed in the mess, which is easy to do.  I lost sight of the fact that I live in a big world with lots of messes and lots of lives.  I spent almost one whole day on the couch crying about my mess (how selfish is that?).

Honestly, my mess is pretty bad.  It is easy to let it take over.  But that’s not what I’m called to do.  I’m not called to wallow.  Paul Tripp once said, “Sin reduces the size of your life, to the size of your life.” (What Did You Expect?) And, boy, did I let myself get there.  There was nothing outside of me.  I spent most of my day thinking about my situation, my mess, my problems.

Then  there was that day, the one spent on the couch crying.  I felt a little tug to text a friend.  In my despair, I almost dismissed it.  But I didn’t.  I texted her and let her know that I was thinking of her and that I missed her the previous night at church.  That reminded me that another friend wasn’t at church so I texted her.  Before long, I was in text conversations with both women.  One was committing to pray for me and what I was going through.  The other was sharing that she was going through a mess of her own.

It wasn’t long before I was no longer crying but praying for my friend and her mess and praising for the friend who had offered to share my burden (even though she didn’t really even know what it was).  That perspective shift was what I needed at that moment to remind me that I wasn’t the only one in a mess and that I wasn’t alone to take care of my mess.

When we are dealing with these complicated issue of life (and they are!), we have to be attentive, too.  We can’t allow the mess to close us off and isolate ourselves.  There are those out there that are willing to share your burden and there are those who may need you to share theirs.  Even if you are in a mess, you can still pray for those around you.

Prayer and perspective.  They kind of go hand in hand at times, don’t they?  We can’t stop praying.  And when the time seems hopeless, we have to remember to pray for that perspective.  For God to show us that He is sovereign and no matter how messy our situation might be, He is good and He’s got this.

Friday Favorites

5 Favorites of Fall

Wow!  Do I really have to limit it to 5?  I SERIOUSLY love fall.  It is one of my favorite seasons and this fall has been especially beautiful.  It’s easy to think of things I love about fall, but it may be hard to limit it to just 5!

1.  The Leaves – I mean, really, how can you not start there?  I really feel sorry for those who don’t get to experience the colors of fall.  We’ve been blessed on our foliage appreciation pursuits and were able to take a drive through the Berkshires of Massachusetts one year.  We also toured the Ave Maria Grotto in Cullman, AL a few years ago.  I’m sure that it is an amazing sight at any time, but as we walked through the Grotto with leaves falling and majestic colors everywhere, it was extra special.  This year, we’ve been blessed to be on our own land.  I’ve been amazed at how vibrant the colors are up here.  As a friend described the other day when she drove out here, “It’s like being IN a postcard!”

2.  The Weather – Now, I know for many fall means rain and that’s true here, too.  However, you can’t really have the cooler weather come in without a bit of a disturbance.  We had an extremely hot and miserable summer this year, so I am so very thankful for the drop in temps.  It has stayed extraordinarily pleasant for quite some time, light jacket weather as my grandma used to say.  It is a blessed respite between the sweltering heat of summer and the bone-chilling winter.

3.  The Clothes – It’s no secret that I’m a little… fluffy.  Therefor tank tops, shorts, and maxi skirts aren’t really my best friends.  No, my body is much more suited for sweaters, scarves, and hoodies.  But it doesn’t stop there!  With fall, we also get boots and tights and hats, oh my!  Not to mention my fair complexion works much better with the browns and reds and oranges rather than pastels and neons.  Yes, the clothes of fall are definitely on my list.

4.  The Holidays – Fall is like the calm before the storm.  Once the cool weather begins, we know that it’s only a few short months before the holiday season sets in.  If you are deliberate and intentional, you can enjoy this blessed peace and prepare for the coming onslaught.  Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays ever.  Probably because it’s all about gratitude, family, and food.  I don’t have to stress about gifts and money; I can just sit back and enjoy and be thankful.  And with Thanksgiving begins my favorite holiday trifecta:  Thanksgiving, Christ the King Day, and Advent.  Last year, Advent was a huge hit with our son and I look forward to celebrating this year, too.

5.  The Food – This could probably top my list on about any subject, but I especially love fall foods.  Last summer we were in a CSA and I loved getting all the fresh summer veggies.  I was almost distraught when fall came around.  What would I cook now?  Since eating seasonally is definitely a passion, I began to learn about fall foods and I fell in love.  Butternut squash, acorn squash, stews, chili, etc.  You also have apple and pear everything, cider, hot chocolate, and pumpkin.  I know that not everyone is on the bandwagon, but I’m a pumpkin girl.  We actually stock up on canned pumpkin in the fall and eat it year round.  I love pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin coffee, well, you get my drift.

Bonus:  Bonfires – Recently we went over to a friend’s and roasted hot dogs and made s’mores and drank coffee.  Does it get any better?

So, what about you?  What are your fall faves?  Grab a pumpkin spice latte, curl up in your favorite hoodie and tell me all about it.

"I used to think _____ and now I think _____."

 I used to think the Kingdom of God was very small, but now I know how big and rich it is.

I don’t remember the date at all, but I remember the conversation:

Woman:  So, why don’t you go to Mega Church Down the Road?

Me:  Well, you see, they believe and practice Pet Doctrine I Didn’t Even Really Understand.

Woman: …

This conversation really did happen and almost exactly like this.  That woman was my boss.  I had no clue where she stood with the Lord or where (or if) she went to church.  And to be honest, I guess I didn’t care.  Because those weren’t things I asked or talked to her about.  Ever.  However, I did have this conversation that still today makes me cringe over 10 years later.

Shortly after that, I ran into a woman who was in seminary.  It wasn’t so rare considering the seminary that my husband went to, but I had very definite opinions on that.  Those opinions didn’t coincide with this woman, however.  She was smart and articulate.  She loved Jesus and people.  She asked me a similar question as the one above.  Here’s how this conversation went:

Seminarian Woman:  Oh, you don’t go to Blank Church?

Me:  No.  I just don’t agree with This Doctrine?

Seminarian Woman:  Really?  I like to go to a church and see if the Spirit of God is there.  That’s what I look for first.

Me: …

Yeah, I’m pretty sure I responded, but I’m sure that whatever I said was about as good as all I’ve referenced so far.  But her answer stuck with me.  I’ve thought about it a lot over the years and it’s definitely influenced me.  Even though it took me another several years to take it to heart.

Fast forward another few years and my husband was on active duty as a military chaplain.  Our first duty station was in Southern California.  During our time there, we became close friends with an Assembly of God chaplain and came into contact with host of others.  But we never found a church home.  Being a chaplain, my husband didn’t really want to go to the chapel (it was like bringing work home).  We visited several other churches who had the same or similar name on the front as ours back home.  But none of those churches had what we were really looking for:  the Spirit of God.

Our next duty station was in Rhode Island.  We went to a church (of our flavor) and it was good.  The preaching was sound, but the people never really welcomed us.  Then we had to go on base to the chapel.  The atmosphere wasn’t great, but since the base was very transient, it wasn’t long until we got a new chaplain and worship leader and things began to change.  God’s word was preached and a new worship team truly led our hearts in worship.

I’d never seen anything like it.  Being brought up in the Bible belt, most people I knew went to church because it was were you were supposed to be on Sunday mornings and occasional Sunday or Wednesday nights.  I’d never really known another way.  Until this chapel.  For the first time, I saw people coming to church who were just there because they loved God.  It was life changing.

In this chapel, I learned what worship was and what it could do.  I heard God’s word preached with authority and I saw people coming together, those who knew Jesus and those who wanted to.  I began to volunteer with the women’s ministry at the chapel and ran into all different brands of Christianity and religion.  I sat at potluck dinners with Seventh Day Adventists, Universalists, and Evangelicals.  I taught bible studies with Catholics and Protestants.

And while this was going on during Sundays and Wednesdays, I was in a concurrent Bible study with a group of moms from my son’s school.  Their diversity rivaled that of the chapel.  When we weren’t at the chapel, we attended a Reform Church.  I found a new love for Jesus, His Scripture, and His people.  I found something in this place that I didn’t even know I was looking for: the Kingdom of God.

You see, once we really experienced the Spirit of God, unhindered, we found God’s Kingdom.  When we gathered with those who didn’t care about pet doctrines or buzzwords, but just focused on Jesus and being led by His Spirit, we encountered what Jesus had spent His time on earth preaching – The Kingdom!

Because God’s Kingdom is so much more and so much bigger than I could ever imagine.  Not to mention the fact that I’m not called to define or defend the Kingdom, I’m called to seek it.